No desire at all to transition, just a guy here that happens to prefer to dress in
womens clothes, I don't even need the makeup and wig, just dress like I feel best.
I would dress more if life would allow, but no need to transition, I am happy being me.
Thought I would weigh in with a bit more comment. There are some responses which imply those with GD will ultimately transition . . . I would have to disagree as it really depends on the level of GD. I have been working with a gender therapist ever since Isha came smashing into my life a year ago. Yes, I am what many would consider a classic cross dresser in that I dress and present part-time as the opposite gender. However, we (my therapist and I) both agree that I have mild GD in that being Isha is integral to my psyche. Specifically I need to be her from time to time to function in life. Now here is the rub. When we had this revelation during a session (we played the therapist / patient cat and mouse game for months) she asked me would I consider transitioning at which point I thought and said "no". When she asked me why I replied that if I were to transition, then I would be right back where I was a year ago only then I would have no "male" identity and would most likely have to resort to CDing FtM to bring balance so I could function.
All this to say, it is possible to have GD without having the need to transition. I embrace my male self as much as I embrace my female self . . . it doesn't have to be all or none for me and suspect there are others who feel similar. :battingeyelashes:
Hugs
Isha
Private, simple crossdressing is my happy place on the spectrum.
That being said, if there was advanced sex change technology in existence I would consider it. And by "advanced" I mean something out of a John Varley science fiction novel. In the book "Golden Globes" his main character changes gender in the middle of the novel from male to female. The required female organs are cloned from his own genetic material and surgically implanted while the male bits are removed. We find out later the character was originally born female, so the medical tech allows multiple swaps. Total fantasy, but with current trends in cloning and stem cells and whatnot I could see it happening, oh, 100 years from now, maybe?
I’ve been a CD since the day I was born, and been “dressing” and going out in public and actually “passing” for 30 years and at no time did I ever think about doing any more than I’ve been doing.
No way.
I was in the Navy and never got a tattoo, and the same mind-set applies here.
I am a cd and nothing else, I dont want to transition, just being me! Ive got enough probs just trying to be a good man! lol Maybe Im just a rebel----in a dress
I am a CDer. I can say with total certainty, being the one person most familiar with me, that I have NO interest whatsoever in transitioning, or going 24/7.
FOR ME it would be like eating ice cream for every meal. Pretty soon I would pray that the freezer would fail.
Or like a very long vacation when I look forward to returning to work.
No, the times I get to be a guy make the times I get to "be a girl" all that more sweeter. And the times I get to "be a girl" make the times I get to be a guy all that more sweeter. And now I get to choose.
But if I transitioned then I would, FOR ME, be stuck in one gender.
No I will never transition.
Besides, I like being the guy in the guy/gal relationship with my SO.
This is in no way an opinion on those who will, are, or have transitioned. They have my respect and understanding.
But that is not for everyone.
Certainly not me.
I am very happy where I am at. I am very grateful for the life I have with my SO.
And I am having SUCH FUN!
If the magic fairy came to me and said "drink this magic potion and you will be a beautiful young woman in every way, and people will simply accept you as a woman, but you can never turn back into a man. I'd have chugged it without hesitation.
That being said, for most of my life, I've "settled" for being a cross-dresser. Until I was in my early 20s, sex changes were illegal in most of the United States, and those doctors who did do them charged more than the price of a luxury home for an operation that left you with a numb clitoris, and not great sensitivity elsewhere. In "Sulka's Wedding", it was possible to see the post-op results and it was pretty easy to see what was missing and what wasn't functioning.
By the 80s, the techiques had improved radically, but it still cost more than a house to get the procedure. I was also married and had a son. Even though the marriage had gone platonic, asexual, and my wife had become abusive, she decided to have sex with me the night after she came home from a male strip club at about 4 AM smelling like an adult movie theater. I pretended to be asleep.
In 1988, after our second child, I finally found an AA sponsor who not only had some experience dealing with transsexual sponsees, but had a friend who was a gender counselor. As a result, "Debbie" did her inventory, and got down to core issues that had been shoved under the table by previous therapists, psychologists, and 12 step sponsors. In October of that year, I went from being a fetish dresser (at home or on the road but always in private) to being a cross-dresser - out in public.
When we went to a marriage counselor and Leslie told him about "Rex's wardrobe problem", he saw me separately and after 3 weeks of grilling questions, he realized that I was not only transsexual, but I'd been lucky to survive as long as I had. He said most people who are as severe as I was killed themselves if they didn't transition by the time they were 30. I was already 34.
I started transition therapy, and was on course to transition when my wife made a credible threat that if I didn't halt the transition, I would never see the kids again, but I'd still have to pay child support. So for the next 16 years I "settled" for being a cross-dresser again.
Then the balance started tipping. A heart attack and a stroke, ending one relationship, and starting a new one with Lee, started to open the doors to thinking about transition. After spending 6 months in Saudi Arabia then spending the winter in Stockholm Sweden, I began to wonder about transition again. My daughter was about to graduate, both my kids knew I was transgendered. I created a Second Life account as a girl, and began to enjoy being a girl in the virtual world. Shortly after that, I waxed off my beard, permanently removing about 90% of my facial hair. I started thinking about losing weight so I could start cross-dressing in public, and I got a facebook account for Debbie. I was surprised at how many of Rex's friends wanted to be Debbie's friend too. Later, I found that most where not at all surprised that I had Debbie inside, I never really passed as a "man" in the first place.
When my father was about to die, he asked me to fly up to see him before he died. I knew it was important, so I flew up. When I got there, the first conversation we had he said "If I can't give you anything else, I want you to be yourself, and if that means being Debbie, be Debbie!". Dad spent the rest of the week getting to know his oldest daughter. At one point, about 2 days before he went, he thought I was my mother. It was so great to know that he loved ME and that I could truly be myself with him, even if only for a week.
My father's death triggered my own thinking. I wasn't getting any younger, and even if I could only be an old lady, maybe that was better than trying to spend whatever time I had left living the lie. When Lee realized what I was doing, she whispered in my ear "I'm not OK with this, you should have talked to me first". I went into a nose-dive emotionally, and ultimately ended up in a psychiatric ward. I agreed to go to more 12 step meetings, and to get with a gender therapist. I saw the therapist alone at first, for about 6 weeks. Then asked Lee to come with me. Lee came to the first session, a little concerned. She said "I understand that Rex is transgendered, but I'm not a Lesbian". At that point, the therapist said "Oh really, tell me what you do with each other in bed?". Lee described our activities together and she smiled and said "And how many man have done those types of things with you?". Lee started laughing very loudly and said "Oh my GOD, I'M BISEXUAL, and I have the perfect girl for me!".
From that point on, Lee became supportive of my transition. She did start taking an active role in helping me choose my wardrobe. We started shopping for nicer clothes that were age appropriate, size appropriate, and appropriate for work or church. It took some of the "Fun" out of the dressing, but on the other hand, I was happier, healthier, and more focused than I had been in a long long time.
I think you make the transition from cross-dresser to transsexual the first time you wake up in the morning and go "I don't want to get all dressed up and do make-up and wear heels", but you do it anyway, because it's an expression of who you really are.
So if the good fairy offered you the magic potion, would you sniff it (transvestite) sip it (cross-dresser), or chug down the whole glass (transsexual).
Chug Chug!
best of both worlds for me. Current society has unfortunately decided that wonderful hair, scent, makeup and fashion belongs in the "ladies only" box. I think the enjoyment of adornment is essentially human dna and not gender related at all.
But I love women and I'm not about to forsake my plumbing for that.
Ditto, I could not have said it better.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
Raychel pretty much summed up my feelings. Although I do enjoy getting all dolled up in makeup and doing my long hair (I dont need a wig) I get plenty of enjoyment just slipping on my forms, a top, and my fem jeans.Quote:
Originally Posted by Raychel
I am quite happy being a part-time CD. There are times when I wonder what it would be like, but as I get closer to 50 I realize that I am happy with who I am.
I am beyond a shadow of a (personal) doubt, transgender, and moreover probably transsexual. Where do you draw the distinction? ...I live my life as a crossdressing man... and most of my friends and family know how I feel. ...I used to literally cry myself to sleep at night, praying to whatever "god" meant and represented that I'd wake up and be a girl. ...needless to say, this became quite a problem for me as I developed into a rather imposing and muscular young man. ...farm work does wonders for the male physique, as does martial arts. ...I learned to "live around it". ...does it mean that I'm always happy? Absolutely not. ...but I'm going to just say, at the risk of angering or insulting others here, that it IS entirely possible to be transsexual and "make excuses" ...and not transition. ...sure... it drives me batshit crazy... but I can still talk to my family, have a steady job in my field, and have another group of friends that wouldn't "get it" if they knew.
Yup! Completely okay with where I'm at.
I decided to cut down on the quote a bit, to not take up as much space here, but I'd like to address your question. If there was a potion that worked as you described, turning me into a woman overnight, with no consequences of having to explain it to people or risk losing friends, family or loved ones over it, I'd definitely do it. I don't feel there's anything I do as a man now that I couldn't do as a woman either and I'd much rather live in a female body than a male one. Even if I wouldn't become a young super model, I'd still go for it. Just becoming a woman of the age I am now, with a normal, average body, would make me happy beyond words.Quote:
Originally Posted by DebbieL
However, since no such potion exist - if it does, someone give it to me NOW! :P - I'd say I'm 'happy' staying the way I am. I have a girlfriend and family I love dearly and I don't want to lose either of them, for pursuing my desire of becoming a woman. I would love if at least my girlfriend would accept this side of me, so I could spend more time as a woman, but I haven't dared confronting her yet. There are probably too many unwanted consequences about changing my life at this stage that I'd want to do it. Maybe that alone, the fact that I don't crave for it more than I do, puts me in the crossdresser category. I don't think I'm transsexual or transgendered, but if I could become a woman overnight, I'd do it without hesitation. With the facts of reality though, I'd rather stay a crossdresser and deal with the issues that brings.
Jennifer, luv ya, but I disagree. On this forum we continually and endlessly debate and celebrate the TG spectrum and the infinite nature of it. In my opinion, TS is a wide band within that spectrum, not a single point. Within that TS band is also an infinite spectrum. And then there's another question. What constitutes transition?Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
Oh, and to the original question, I'm quite happy being a crossdresser, but I've been on a decades-long quest to be a more convincing woman during those times when I can crossdress. That's been kind of a bumpy road, getting bumpier the older I get.
Yes that would be me. I like my current genitalia and being male. I also like feminine things and letting others see that part of me in how I present myself at times. A crossdresser not a transsexual oh and if you are curious, strictly a heterosexual crossdresser. I threw that in to clear up another common misconception!
I just love to dress I have never really thought about being a woman
My only interest is in dressing and trying to look as feminine as possible. Not interested the least bit in transitioning
Same for me......I use dressing as both a release for stress and a reward for getting some part of my s**t together.
CD all the way for me - am very comfortable with all aspects of my life as a man but simply love crossdressing as it allows me to step off the escalator of life, forget about any stressful situations & just enjoy being GiGi for a short while.