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are you serious?Quote:
Originally Posted by sissystephanie
i dont know if it is something you can be born with, but you can develop the "condition" very early in life, and for many it is a compulsion, not a choice.
how you deal with it is the only choice you have.
Am I the only one here that understands the nature of this thred?... Fear not Curse within I do understand exactly what you are saying... My story is some what similar, My Ex wife if asked would tell you that my dressing was the beginning of the end of our relationship, but what she still doesn't understand (and probably never will now) is that my need to dress was just that... I did not want it, Sarah just takes over for a while, and when she is done with my body I am rather discusted with myself that I could not control my own urges under her control, bitch! (thats miss bitch to you a-hole) The main difference between you and I Curse is that I have the makeup and the forms to keep the bitch sorry "miss bitch" happy when she does take over. What can I say... Glutton for punishment?!Quote:
Originally Posted by curse within
CW, I think the intent of both of your posts were pretty clear, at least to me. It all boils down to "If I want to stop cross dressing, where do I go for help?" mixed in with "Is this the place/this is not the place" for that sort of help.
This is a great place for support if you want help to accept what you are.
This is even a great place for support if you want the camaraderie of speaking with others that share your "affliction" and even your feelings and opinion about it.
This is NOT a great place for those looking for a way to stop - that's just not the focus of this forum.
The bad news is, I have no idea where you can go if you want help to quite cross dressing. I'd be delighted to help you if I had a clue, but I don't. I DO wish you the very best of luck and hope you find some way to peace of mind, be it by quiting or by accepting.
Again, you demonstrate that you simply "don't get it". Please stop making assumptions.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicki B
That's not the focus of this forum or any other forum. Because...there is no way to stop. oh, I dunno...a frontal lobotomy maybe?Quote:
Originally Posted by TxKimberly
But short of that, you and I both know this is like the mafia. You're in for life.
Sure, one can stop the physical act of CD-ing, but stop thinking about it?
yeah, right.
CW,Quote:
Originally Posted by TxKimberly
It seems this forum (and this thread) has certainly tried to address TX Kimberly's first point and has not been afraid of touching on the second point as well as the third. Your courageous posts have elicited mostly supportive and positive responses and hopefully has paved the way for more discussions that run the risk of offending some on this site (hopefully, no one is hurt or offended as that should never be the goal of honest discussion).
CW, I'm not sure whether you were asking for help on how to eliminate CD'ing from your life or whether you were simply wondering whether anyone else on this site feels like you do.
It seems from the responses that there are many on this site who feel in some part, if not completely, as you do. I have been crossdressing for 35 years and as I already stated earlier, my behavior for the most part parallels yours as listed in your first post. My name on this site was chosen rather randomly and I do not use a feminine name for myself. I also listed some organizations which might assist you in eliminating or reducing CD'ing in your life.
Some on this forum, including you, indicated that CD'ing is a compulsion. For others, it is not at this point in their lives. If you view it as a compulsion, I again suggest that a 12 step group like Sex Addicts Anonymous might be worth a try. You could attend several meetings without saying a word or revealing anything about yourself to see if any of it resonates with you. Patrick Carnes has written several excellent books, such as Out of the Shadows which you might check out first if you wish.
To use an example, most of us I would guess believe that masturbating in and of itself is harmless. For some, it becomes a compulsion and they decide they must take steps to reduce its control over their lives. Drinking alcohol is also like this. The same might be said of crossdressing for some people at some points in their lives.
This forum has people all over the spectrum of crossdressing, from fetishism to those who consider themselves transgendered. We may not have everything in common but hopefully we can find some things in common that we can identify with. Hopefully, we can celebrate and support both those who are happy with where they are in their lives and those who wish to change.
TXKimberly,Quote:
Originally Posted by TxKimberly
Thank you ,yes you got the point well part of it anyways but I was wondering if it was not just me .I believe there are many others who feel the way that I do.. Now please don't get me wrong this isn't slinging mud towards any group of people and no doubt this is a great forum directed mainly to the folks who want and accept dressing in their lives..
Just as you would like to be understood about dressing I and others would like to be understood about dis likeing it ...I am sure we would like to hear other opinions rather than there must be something wrong with us in accepting our lives with Xdressing. All I hear (READ) is I am in denial, I am angry so on and so on for the most part from some..
I am going to start another Thread about this as well so please no need for some folks to get thier feathers ruffled.. Fair warning to those who are thinned skinned .My new Thread will point out the differances in Male Cders and Male Crossdressing Transgenders..Yes there are differances..
That's all
Well my knickers are not in a twist no way , As I am happy to be dressed , shave in all the places females do , Get depressed After I have to change back to male mode , long to called by my female name , BUT then I am on hormones and loving it :love:
Then perhaps you might explain further, rather than so often saying as little as possible about yourself.. And also making assumptions?Quote:
Originally Posted by MarcieM
CW...despite your constantly stated position that you don't want to offend anyone, you're actually starting to offend me.
"You just don't get it." is a dismissive mantra that you're using to allow yourself to ignore a lot of very insiteful and sympathetic commentary here. Especially since, as most who have posted in response to your OP have agreed with you about the depth of shame and guilt and "not rightness" that they have also experienced, just like you!
Is it they have been able to get over it and accept themselves and you are unable to?
What makes you so adamant in apparently not even wanting to try to accept yourself for what you are? Are you a fundamentalist preacher? Are you the ultimate alpha male in your community? What are you afraid of?
We get it alright! We get that you are opposed to change in your own mind, even change that could make your life a lot happier for yourself and those around you.
One so-so experience with a therapist doesn't mean that therapy can't ultimately help you with your negative or 'contrarian' mind set. You just gotta find one that youre more in tune with.
Candy Darling's post at #110 (which is one of the only ones that you actually agreed with) probably got it right. You're addicted to SHAME!
That's not nearly as healthy as being addicted to Vicoria's Secret catalogs...
:straightface:
Although I agree'd to Candys suggestion I'm not addicted to shame.. I will buy the OCD therory tho... Is it so hard to believe that people do not wish to progress thier lifestyle (crossdressing) or feed what most would consider a disgusting habit?Quote:
Originally Posted by deja true
I am very happy for the folks here that do wish to further thier lifestyle by going out in public or spendind a day as a woman .. I understand that not wanting to get dressed up doesn't fit in this forum , I understand you girls (men) have spent a lifetime fighting for understanding and are very fast to be offended if someone has a negative attitude towards dressing..
But don't forget we are all suppose to fit into this label together I do not tell you that dressing is unhealthy for you even though I think it is more unheathy than me not dressing but thats my opinion.
Thanks for the post:D