First date in 8 years, We have not met yet, Going as Christina, Am I nervous! ya me!

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02-13-2010, 11:47 AM
Christina Horton

First date in 8 years, We have not met yet, Going as Christina, Am I nervous! ya me!

Hay all. Yes It will be my first date in like 8 or so years. We meet on life mates.....just over the phone. I told life mates to make sure the girls they recommend must be ok with my CDing. So we have only talked on the phone a few times. She seams very nice and we have a lot of the same likes. I just hope we can click on the talking part cuz love to talk. OK I am a trucker as some of you know and my girl friend Roberta has told me a few times to listen more....ok in the truck for 14 years or so for the most part alone I don't get a chance to chat to people and over the years I have found that most people on the CB just want to talk smack , I want nothing to do with that . So when I am home and dressed the talk button on my mouth is on and I just wanna talk.

Back to the date part...... Today is Saturday morn and I will get together with her later today we will be going to a Vango meet. Vancouver girls night out meet. Other CDs will be there and after that we are going to a drag show.

Yes Roberta all ready said I should meet her in drab first but she said it would be fine this way. I mean just think of this for a sec.....What would have happened if you meet you SO that way the first time and she knew you were a CD. I think she would have no way to say (Well I meet and fell in love with a MAN) . In this case If she does not cancel she could not say that.

For those of you that are screaming and you computer screen saying how selfish this all sounds, your right it is selfish of me but I don't want my CDing to be a problem in the future so this is the best way I can think of to make sure she will be fine with it. After all we both singed up to find our one and only love, someone we can grow old with. They asked her before she agreed to meet me if she would be ok with it .

Since we talked yesterday and she said it would be ok for me to be Dressed for our first meet up I have had this tightness in my tummy and I never have had that before. I think it cuz I am nervous . I could not find the reason until I thought this morning "What am I going to wear". I have more choices on what to wear there ever I did 8 years ago and still I think I have nothing to wear. LOL. I never thought I would think that but the last year I have thought that lots, My 20th high school reunion was the first major and this is the second one.

What would you girls recommend for a first date when you don't know what your date will wear. OMG what if in a real wild Million to one chance she wear the same thing I do. I never thought of that happening until now.

That would be so cooooooollllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhmmmmm I mean "Wow that would be embarrassing.....:devil::heehee::D

Ok I will update (pun intended) this later. Boy I hope she does not back out of out date tonight. Well hears hoping.

Wish me luck!!!!!!!!! I need all that I can get ;)
02-13-2010, 11:50 AM
aggi123

good luck, chrstina! I hope everything goes well. I definitely wouldn't have the courage to meet that way for the first time. But you know what they say, first impressions are everything! Good luck!
02-13-2010, 12:21 PM
SusanCACD

I only wish....

I think being as you talked about it already it is the best thing to do. I only wish I could meet a lady like that someday. I know it's "not gonna happen" cause I am such a closet case. I can still dream though....

Susan
02-13-2010, 12:44 PM
Nicole Bishop

Maybe you will get a gold medal! Go to hamburger marys on davie st . You realize most of us would kill to be out in vancouver right now amongst all those vanilla people
02-13-2010, 12:46 PM
sherri52

Good luck Christina. hope you have a great time and she wants to see you again.
02-13-2010, 01:20 PM
DaisyG

Wow, Christina! Eight years has been a long dry spell for you.

I like your approach. I sure hope meeeting your new lady goes really well, and that you can tell us how it went.

Hugs,

Daisy :hugs:
02-13-2010, 03:01 PM
Kate Simmons

Enjoy your date my friend.:thumbsup::)
02-13-2010, 03:26 PM
AKAMichelle

I wish you the very best date!
02-13-2010, 04:25 PM
PretzelGirl

Keep breaking those barriers Christina. Have a great time and the best of luck!
02-13-2010, 05:49 PM
Christina Horton

Hay all , I just talked to AMY on the phone and she "WILL" meet me at the restarunt and after that we will go to the drag show.

She did not cancel and that's a HUGE . I am getting more nervous now thinking of it. I love this feeling , I don't get that much anymore lol.

I will be getting ready for all this in a hour . My girl friend Roberta and I will meet up and go shopping a little before the dinner. She just called me to say she will be by at 4 or more like 4:30 .

:heehee:I can't wait.........:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
02-13-2010, 08:03 PM
Loni

i just got home 5:pm pacific time.

here is hoping it goes great for you.

i will be up by midnight .....maybe see a posting????

loni.
02-13-2010, 08:07 PM
Barbara Dugan

Good luck I hope you have a great time:hugs:
02-13-2010, 08:24 PM
Engendered

The first time I met my last gf, I was dressed, and she was 100% accepting and encouraging of my girl side all throughout our relationship. I think being open about this side of you up front is absolutely the right thing to do. I hope it goes great! :)
02-13-2010, 08:28 PM
Lyndal

good luck

Good luck Christina I hope it turns out grear for you,
02-13-2010, 08:51 PM
Christina Horton

Well she canceled. Oh well I guess if she could not handle me dressed then she is not worth my time eh.
02-13-2010, 09:00 PM
Engendered

Aw no! Boo to her! :(
Don't let it get you down too much. You did an awesomely brave thing, and it's much better to know now than later.
02-13-2010, 10:15 PM
Faith_G

Awww... :( Sorry to hear that, I was hoping you'd have a fun story to share. :hugs:
02-13-2010, 10:28 PM
Nicole Erin

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christina Horton

Well she canceled. Oh well I guess if she could not handle me dressed then she is not worth my time eh.

Gyod that is kind of f'ed up, she say why she couldn't make it?
02-14-2010, 01:34 AM
Marcie4you

Hun read this...: http://www.consumeraffairs.com/datin...lifemates.html
02-14-2010, 02:09 AM
Loni

your are just to good for her anyway, there are much better ladys out there.

.
02-14-2010, 04:27 AM
Christina Horton

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nicole Erin

Gyod that is kind of f'ed up, she say why she couldn't make it?

She said I was a nice guy but she did not think she wanted to meet me dressed in a costume. I told her that it's not a costume and then she said " well I don't what you to be acting around me, I said " I am not acting , then before I could explain further a another call came in and I asked her to wait one mo. When I tried to get her back I must have lost her. I called back but got her voice mail. I called oh 6 or 8 time and left a few messages and she did not get back to me.

I think it safe to say it would not have worked out. Yes it's a good thing to find this out now not later.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marcie4you

Hun read this...: http://www.consumeraffairs.com/datin...lifemates.html

I have not had a prob with the service just...... I think it hard for someone "whom is not well versed in TG land like we are" to understand who we are and why we do it. At the Vango meet one of the wife of one of our members was there and she and a CD friend said that. I get there point and yes she might have been fine with it but as the time of our date got closer she got cold feet or thought "I have a date with what the world will see as a girl and I ready for that". I don't know her reason but I wish her luck and have not hard feeling to her.

I am disappointed sure but I am not a girl or guy to get down for long. I had a great time at dinner I can't say the food was as good but the company was the best. I really love to spent time with these girls. There a tip top wonderful group of ladies and I wish we could all spend more time with each other. Like A big day of shopping and a good quite afternoon of just girl talk. If you ever have a chance to go out with a group of CD girls do it. It's so neat to be with like minded people whom you don't have to explain why....they just know and may have insight you lack. So to the girls hear that was there THANK YOU ALL. OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
02-14-2010, 08:53 AM
JiveTurkeyOnRye

I'm sorry she cancelled on you after agreeing to meet you even dressed. I do think calling 6 to 8 times may be a little bit excessive, that might have scared her off now even more than the crossdressing did. Plus, taking the other call was probably not the best idea.

Do you dress or are you planning on going full time as Christina? The reason why I say this is because, it's not so much that I think you were being selfish in how you approached your date as much as it seems like maybe you were throwing too much at her too fast. You weren't just going to be dressed up, but you were attending a trans event and then going to go see a drag show. That's a lot of crossdressing happening for someone who hasn't been at all initiated into it yet.

If you're not full time as Christina, then it would probably be better next time to go more traditional with your first date, let her meet you as a guy and see that you're perfectly nice and normal, and then if it goes well and you hit it off, then discuss dressing up for either the second or third date. Still be honest and up front with who you are and what you do before the first date, but it feels like you maybe played the CD thing up so much that it started to feel overwhelming and ominous for her.
02-14-2010, 01:59 PM
ggtracy

Maybe it was too soon for her to see you dressed? If she was interested and curious, it may have really led somewhere. I met my fiance online, met him in drab the first few times, but even then I felt he was constantly testing me- showing me all his girl things and pictures right away, showing up in female mode at unexpected times. taking me to transgender/gay bars. I felt I was being tested and he was evaluating my every reaction. this is a lot of pressure especially because I cared about him and didn't want to hurt his feelings.
02-14-2010, 06:00 PM
RobertaM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JiveTurkeyOnRye

If you're not full time as Christina, then it would probably be better next time to go more traditional with your first date, let her meet you as a guy and see that you're perfectly nice and normal, and then if it goes well and you hit it off, then discuss dressing up for either the second or third date. Still be honest and up front with who you are and what you do before the first date, but it feels like you maybe played the CD thing up so much that it started to feel overwhelming and ominous for her.

Christina, see! not just me giving the same advise. You were so excited about meeting her that your enthusiam could be construed as little to aggresive luv.

hugs Roberta
02-14-2010, 06:10 PM
Sara Jessica

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobertaM

Christina, see! not just me giving the same advise. You were so excited about meeting her that your enthusiam could be construed as little to aggresive luv.

hugs Roberta

You should listen to your friends Christina. I would have said the exact same thing, and still do after the fact!!! Live and learn, as they often say.
02-14-2010, 06:55 PM
Nicole Erin

The lady should have given you a chance I think.
See Christina, alright we have spoke a few times and you are really easy to get along with.

Problem with some GG's though is they are cool with our TG'ness one minute but quickly change their minds. Not all are like that but some are.
02-14-2010, 07:29 PM
Joann Smith

congrats yall both did the right thing ....if she could not handle you being a CD it was never gonna work out any way ....

oh well

Joann
02-15-2010, 02:25 AM
Satrana

I agree with the above comments - turning up dressed on your first date is too much. It is great to be honest and tell her upfront about being a CD but you should wait for her to meet you first en drab and then wait for her to tell you she would be comfortable seeing you dressed.

You need to arrest any fears she has that you might be a wierdo and best to make an emotional connection before taking things further. After all taking a picture of you dressed would have been more than sufficient for your first date if she was genuinely interested in your dressing.
02-15-2010, 08:48 PM
Christina Horton

Thanks all you for your kind worlds and ample advice. Next time I will meet the next girl in ( sigh ) drab!!! One day I will meet someone one day. I hope.
02-15-2010, 09:53 PM
Andy66

I'm not sure what to think.

On the one hand, maybe you did throw too much at her at once.

But on the other hand, if she has a problem with your crossdressing, it's better you know from the start, and good riddance.

You're an awesome person and I hope you will find someone who can appreciate you soon. :love:
02-15-2010, 09:59 PM
suchacutie

maybe a silver lining

I'm sorry for your disappointment, and I agree that meeting in drab might be a better first date if that's what she wanted...but...

Her words about your costume and acting don't sound like the words I'd want to hear. This isn't an act by all of us and it seems to me that she really didn't get it.

Maybe this was a good thing after all!!

tina
02-15-2010, 10:25 PM
JiveTurkeyOnRye

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christina Horton

Thanks all you for your kind worlds and ample advice. Next time I will meet the next girl in ( sigh ) drab!!! One day I will meet someone one day. I hope.

Well, there probably are women who will be willing to meet you in femme mode. Like I said though, you were really overloading her with the CDing stuff for a first date. She probably started to feel like that's all you're about.

I really hate this sentiment that some responders have had that her not wanting to meet you in drag would mean that she doesn't tolerate CDing. The girl I'm dating now didn't see me dressed at first, even though I'm out, and she has been amazingly supportive and encouraging and even playful with it, but she said that had I arrived for our first date in a skirt it probably wouldn't have been well received.

Remember that a first date is an emotional roller coaster time for both parties, there's a lot of pressures and expectations and nerves in there. You have to both do what you can to be comfortable. Consider this, instead of it just being that you are resigned to dressing in drab for all first dates, think of telling the next women something to the effect of, hey so I do this, and I think if I dress up for our date, I'll be more comfortable and relaxed and you'll actually be able to get to know me better, but i want you to be comfortable too, so if you'd prefer I come in male mode, I'll do that... Or something that basically makes it clear to her that her needs are important to you.
02-16-2010, 03:40 AM
Satrana

I was going to add that there are plenty of women who would be supportive of a CDing partner but don't know it themselves because they have never (knowing) dated one. Due to society's ignorance and misinformation, the first instinct of most women would be to decline the idea. Even many of the most accepting GGs here on this forum admit that previous to meeting their partners they would have turned down such a date.

So if your objective is to gain a long term partner, your chances of success increase dramatically not just be turning up en drab on the first date but also by not advertising your behavior at all. Wait for a few dates to pass and if you think the relationship may be heading somewhere then tell her. She needs to be interested in you to make her want to learn about it.