The majority of women will never accept.

I am inviting controversy I know but this is how I see it.
Now some things in life are just unchangeable. Oil and water just don’t mix for example.
Now a lot [but not all] women do not like there man to be a crossdresser. We know that. And it’s understandable, to me anyway.
What worries me sometimes is that some members do not seem to except this. And blame there wives or girl friends for not accepting there fem side. Or at least are disappointed by there SOs reaction.
But it’s not there fault. It’s nobody’s fault! It’s just how it is.
Some things you just can’t change.
Show them love and understanding. See it from there side.

SUZY

Suzy I agree with you, that many women do not want to see there men dress as women also, at least not yet. I do think, however, that the next generation will be much more tolerant than ours was as there is much more acceptance toward androdyny. women are stronger and men are becoming more sensative.
[ except on jersey shore...lol] i think our generation is plowing the way for the future. our women [ generation wise] were taught the same way we were...the man is supposed to be the man and lodi dodi da... but that is very different in this generation. many of our younger sister are going out clubbing en femme as though it were the natural thing to do. if we did that 20 yrs ago, we'd be shot. and our women felt the same way about dressing. i do think there is hope for the future. there will be plenty of GG women to go around for all our TG sisters. Another thing is, I think they will go into relationships knowing their partner is CD or TG[ we are so much more open about it]...as many of our partners did not. another plus for the next generation.

just my humble opinion

hugs

I sincerely hope you are right msniki

SUZY

Suzy, this topic was 'attempted' to be discussed in another thread and I believe you may have commented on it too, as I did. The topic was about some members' responses as you have indicted above. The blame, disappointment, and sometimes angry reaction to their SO/wives. The confusion on that thread became more towards why some don't accept cd/ts, etc...so it went way left field, even though I tried to bring it back to the main question. So I wish you luck on this thread, as I find it to be an interesting topic as to why do some who have an SO or wife, react as such.

Now normally this issue came about after a relationship/marriage has already began and its discovered or shared, after the fact.

I don't have either, but began experimenting a couple of years into my last marriage. Trying to introduce parts of my cding (just clothing) into the bedroom..she was not really into it but did not give a hostile reaction. But other things came to add to the breakup in the marriage. She was introduced to Marissa in pics after the breakup and still no negative response, in fact she came up with my name..

Hugs,
Marissa

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Originally Posted by msniki48

Suzy I agree with you, that many women do not want to see there men dress as women also, at least not yet. I do think, however, that the next generation will be much more tolerant than ours was as there is much more acceptance toward androdyny. women are stronger and men are becoming more sensative.
[ except on jersey shore...lol] i think our generation is plowing the way for the future. our women [ generation wise] were taught the same way we were...the man is supposed to be the man and lodi dodi da... but that is very different in this generation. many of our younger sister are going out clubbing en femme as though it were the natural thing to do. if we did that 20 yrs ago, we'd be shot. and our women felt the same way about dressing. i do think there is hope for the future. there will be plenty of GG women to go around for all our TG sisters. Another thing is, I think they will go into relationships knowing their partner is CD or TG[ we are so much more open about it]...as many of our partners did not. another plus for the next generation.

just my humble opinion

hugs

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Can agree with you, niki, in that the young generation of now is more accepting then previous generations and if that is what the future holds, then there is hope that any cd or ts will have the courage to be more open about their lifestlye/hobby at the beginning of the relationship.

And that is great in preventing some of the issues that Suzy is referring to..where an SO/wife can not accept a crossdresser. They desired/married a man or at least the man that was being presented. So to expect a woman to accept it is a gamble and should not be a cause for reacting negatively if she does not accept.

Now I'm not talking about if she throws pots and pans at ya :) or outs you to friends/family, those would be reasons to react. But we can't be surprised if she just wants nothing to do it with at all. Just as how we would be surprised if she does accept it.

Hope this makes sense.

Do you girls think that some GG women do not accept crossdressing partners because they are insecure in their own relationship and feel threatened by another female presence. I know in my case my wife and I had a very strong relationship and this would seem to be the case for several others on this forum who don't seem to have problems being accepted............

Suzy, while I accept your ascertion, I do not think it is a law of nature such as your water/oil example. While men and women may have distinctive functions as part of their nature, how they dress and how they appear does not necessarily interfere with the performance of those functions. In fact, the roles of the sexes and the attire of the sexes has changed, literally flipped over the centuries. I will not accept that crossdressing must be a point of conflict, rather that women have been raised to believe it is. In a relationship or in society at large, where each person is responsible, commited, selfless, loving, caring, hardworking, trustworthy and loyal to the cause, things like dressing can and have been overcome. I will certainly agree that it is a hard road to go, but it is not because of nature, rather it is because of attitudes and prejudices. We can all remember those who claimed discrimating against people of color was righteous because it was a law of nature.

Suzy, I agree! My wife has known about my cross-dressing for over thirty years. She has known for longer than thirty years that I had a desire to wear feminine lingerie. Now, I am making a distinction between knowing her man liked to dabble in feminine clothing and realizing her man is a cross-dresser. There is a world of difference. My wife, as well as most intolerant or non accepting women, say they wish they had known up front. It has taken me forty years to realize, she may have wanted to know the full extent of my cross-dressing desires (so did I), but, now I am viewing life as I've had forty years of denial. I know what compromises I've made throughout marriage, not involving cross-dressing (employment, where we live, the house we live in, the church we use to attend, etc, etc, etc). I've drawn the line in the sand. If she ever were to break out of DADT, it's history. There are just so many compromises a person can make. When there is nothing more to lose or salvage, liberation will come for us.

I think that it depends on the woman. The title of your thread says "the majority of women" ... I think for the most part I would agree with that because, generally speaking, IMHO, the majority of the population of men and women prefer the opposite of what they are themselves as far as physical attraction goes. In other words women tend to like men to be men and men tend to like women to be women, if you get what mean. So, while there is a vast amount of variance out there when it comes to "attraction to a mate", I do think that (broadly speaking), given the choice, the majority of women would prefer not to date or be married to a transgendered person by choice. :2c:

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Originally Posted by suzy1

Now some things in life are just unchangeable. Oil and water just don’t mix for example.

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Actually they do, if you add an emulsifier like an egg yolk, to make an opaque salad dressing that won't separate, for example. :)

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Originally Posted by suzy1

Some things you just can’t change.
Show them love and understanding. See it from there side.

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I disagree with you a little bit here. Your love and understanding can act like an emulsifier, which over time can help a woman accept. Maybe not in every situation since there are many other factors that come into play, but it is certainly doable. :hugs:

Suzy, Your eye sight is undoubtedly 20 20. What you see is very much correct. Many times the CDing hubby is too self involved to see the signs of discontentment in their SO's eyes. (I know. I was one of those idiots!) They think incorrectly that being able to communicate their desires to their spouse means everything is OK. Not realizing the other person has needs and desires as well. Some of them may clash with each other and cause the need to negotiate limits and boundaries of acceptable behavior. This requires true OPENNESS on both parties involved to be successful. And it takes time and patience as well. Unfortunately due to the nature of men we can be severely lacking in both.

You are correct and don't feel bad about it. Gender roles are a natural part of human existence. Most MEN aren't comfortable with their wives dressing like men, so it's how we all work...

Here is the thing Suzy, all women don't need to accept CDing. Most CDers only need one women to accept it. That one is the one that matters most in thier lives. Add in love, understanding, and communication and you have a relationship dreams are made of.

Actually I wonder if as understanding of crossdressing and trans issues spreads it might put women off more not encourage them. If a lot of the women knew the realities, details and complications they might be more reluctant to sign up with a crossdresser not less.

The innocent woman who signs up thinking "ah its just a harmless hobby" might not be so enamoured by the common possibilities waiting for her.

Why whould they? Why would women accept CD behavior when I dare say the majority of CDs dont see thier bahavior as mainstream? How can I say that? Because I have only known a small handful of CDs that were out in the REAL world presenting themselves with dignity and respect. It might be a surprise but these small handful of people actually earn the respect of people while they are out in the real world.

Also why would a woman accept a CD when they want a man? I realize that some CDs are exactly what they say they are but a LOT are REALLY TS in denial and hey why would a woman want to even take that chance?

Finally why would a woman want to deal with the all to common escalations, the need to express yourselves, the frustrations and all that? Why would they?

And then there are those of us women who are wanting a LTR with a CD'er and can't find that special someone, or when they do, it just doesn't work out. :-(

Except means to leave out. Accept is the word you wanted. If people speak clearly they can hear the difference.

Suzy, I agree with most of what your saying, except for the part where you say oil and water don't mix! I think it's called Wal-mart brand!!!

Great Maker, it is no wonder we are still a cultural reject, especially reading some of these comments.

Why don't a lot of women like crossdressers? Very simple, most women like MEN! And many crossdressers say very plainly that they prefer to be women!! That is not at all hard to understand. Yes, I am a MTF crossdresser!! But I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be a woman. I like to wear feminine clothes, but that is as far as it goes. That is why my dear late wife loved me for the almost 50 years we had together, knowing that I was a CD the whole time. And the lady in Scotland whom I love also knows that I am a CD and could care less, because she knows that I am really a man!! If you are going to say that women don't like CD's, you have to qualify what kind of CD you are talking about!! A totally feminine male CD, or one like myself!!

I would tend to agree with Mary Morgan that how we choose to dress has a lot to do with how we are socialized. Most people will follow the prescribed norms as to gender-specific clothing in accordance with the way society has laid out the "rules", so to speak, whereas others - such as we crossdressers - are prepared to flout convention because those restrictions just don't work for us. Or as that great philosopher RuPaul ;) once put it (and I'm paraphrasing here) "We're all born naked, the rest is just drag".

As for women accepting us or not, I would say that the biggest difference in how they might feel about our crossdressing comes down to whether or not they are close to us and/or have a romantic interest in us, or else are strangers or simply friends. When the crossdressing does not strike so close to home, it is less of a threat, and some might even find it intriguing on some level. But when it comes to "their" man, many will likely see his crossdressing as an affront to their own inherent femininity and would be inclined to feel threatened by it - especially if they already have self-image issues.

Morning television is rampant with shows targeted at women that either have gay male hosts e.g. the Nate Berkus Show or else are comprised of locally produced broadcasts that are focused on fashion, beauty, makeovers and hairstyles etc. where again, gay male "experts" in these fields predominate. And guess what? - the ladies just love these gentlemen and hang on their every word. Same thing with their gay male hairdressers and or the make up artists working in salons or at department store cosmetics counters that they visit personally for their beauty needs. But should their very own "manly" men exhibit those same skills or interests, most women would likely consider that creepy. And I would draw the same analogy when it comes to their relationships with the crossdressers in their lives. Not particularly logical in the strictest sense of the word, but then we all know that women as a whole are far more emotional beings than we are, and are much more inclined to let their feelings and hearts override their minds when trying to decide what to think or do.

I can also speak from personal experience. I've come to know a number of GG's (my make up artist, for example) who not only have no problem with what I do, but are, in fact, intrigued and fascinated by it. As for my wife, well, she is gradually becoming more and more comfortable with my crossdressing (or maybe I'm just wearing her down by this point :eek::doh::heehee:) but overall, "don't ask, don't tell" still prevails in our household.

As I said, not always logical, but it is what it is...

I think the main problem is most of you look better than us so I would say it may be a little bit of jealousy

Well then I'm blessed.I have one of the Accepting wives. And I know I've really lucky.:hugs:
Angie

I think we are over-looking some simple laws of attraction here. If a woman meets a man, starts dating, starts to feel like there is a future together as a couple, has trust in him, then she may become accepting or understanding in time. The amount of time varies. But if a man starts to see himself as a woman and starts behaving more like a woman the the man the woman first met, then she is going to withdraw. Remember, she was attracted to a MAN, not a woman. Now if that same man acted like a woman while dressed, it is maybe even expected he at least try to walk, talk and act like a woman. No one wants to see a lumber jack in a dress anymore then a woman wants to see a woman (her man) act like a woman when he is in drab. Sorry if this offends anyone, but it is sort of a role play. If the man continues to look, act and be a man while in drab, there is more then a chance and hope the woman will still be attracted to him regardless of how feminine he might be dressed.
As for myself, I always show my SO that I am a man while in drab, But I can be as feminine appearing and acting as I want while dressed. She happens to love me in either role.
My best guess is that 50% or more women that are in love or falling in love, with trust, and respect already established will accept the male crossdresser if he is open, honest and most of all, show care and concern for the woman he loves. Go slow, be patient, and always show her she is loved and appreciated for more then just accepting his crossdressing.
I think many, if not most CD's go overboard, and way to fast once they simply tell there partner they like to dress in women's clothes. He never shuts up about it. Right away shaves his body hair, pierces his ears, paints his toe nails, wears a gown to bed every night, thins his brows and in any other way that is considered a feminine thing to do. All of the sudden, where's the MAN she fell for? A woman can understandably start to worry, get scared, turned off, and do an about face since in to many ways to soon, she feels she lost her man.
I see way to much selfishness in many CD's. And just what are they doing to show love and appreciation? We need to continually court the women we love. I think once engulfed in the PINK FOG, many forget this along with showing her you are still a man, the man she fell in love with.:2c:

When I took haydee public it freaked out a number of people, but the ones it hit the hardest were my ex gfs.. and both of them have a lot of gay friends.. one of them even lives in a gay district of the city.. and they were still freakout of by it. So yes, a lot of women definitely feel weird about it.

Not surprising.. they want a man not a girl.. they want to be one that's pretty and gets all the attention .. women are catty with other women

I agree with what Mary Morgan has said. It's bias that is taught within society that makes many women unaccepting. In the past two decades, I have seen a clear increase in the level of acceptance.

Children have no problem with crossdressing or crossdressers until someone, usually an adult, tells them that they should. I'm finding that fewer children now take notice of such bigotry, and fewer parents appear to be teaching it than even 5 years ago.

I would agree with the statements "Many women don't currently accept" and "A few women will never accept" but I don't believe that the word "majority" is correct even today, and as society is gradually becoming less bigoted against us, the proportion who don't accept is diminishing.

I know a few women who have no problem with men who are not their partner being crossdressers, but would have a problem if their partner was. The number so far is 2 in over a 50 women that I have asked this question of over the years.

As with the fear of rejection, ridicule, etc from going out in public or being out about crossdressing, I would have to say that "The majority of women will never accept" is a pessimistic perception in the mind of a crossdresser.

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Originally Posted by AliceJaneInNewcastle

y women don't currently accept" and "A few women will never accept" but I don't believe that the word "majority" is correct even today, and as society is gradually becoming less bigoted against us, the proportion who don't accept is diminishing.

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well i am part of the young generation and i can tell you that the majority of women in my experience were turned off by it when i went public 2 months ago with this talent. some were turned on to it.. so it's not a universal thing. cross dressing may be making an increase in acceptance but it's still not mainstream. at least not in my area or community of friends.

when they see a guy dancing in stripper heels that looks prettier than most girls, it raises questions.. just the way it is.
it's still new to people, maybe the majority attitude will change once they get used to it

Mmm, maybe things are different "down under" but there is little doubt in my mind that the "majority" of women still here don't accept cross dressing. Just look at the posts on this board.....:doh:

I would have to agree Suzy that there is still a majority of women who simply wouldn't entertain living their lives with a CDer,but I would say through sites like this we are learning that being honest from the outset Is the only way to alter that statistic.As I have said before My Wife knew from the beginning even before meeting me,that I was a Crossdresser,we talked about everything that entailed,but she also knew the drab side too and if anything that part of me was what first attracted her to me.I firmly believe things will change

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Originally Posted by Katesback

I have only known a small handful of CDs that were out in the REAL world presenting themselves with dignity and respect. It might be a surprise but these small handful of people actually earn the respect of people while they are out in the real world.

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It's clear you don't think much of CDs if you are saying that its only those out in the world that have dignity and respect,There is many decent Crossdressers living their lives behind close doors who are loving and caring to their loved ones needs.they arent selfish and dont push them to extremes.

Thank you for all your interesting comments.
I would just like to point out the reason for my post.
The point I was trying to get across was to see it from there [the SOs] point of view. That in many cases as much compassion should be felt for them as the crossdresser. [Perhaps more in some cases] It would be very unfair to apportion any blame to a woman for not liking her partner dressing up as a women.

Thank you, SUZY

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Originally Posted by suzy1

Thank you for all your interesting comments.
I would just like to point out the reason for my post.
The point I was trying to get across was to see it from there [the SOs] point of view. That in many cases as much compassion should be felt for them as the crossdresser. [Perhaps more in some cases] It would be very unfair to apportion any blame to a woman for not liking her partner dressing up as a women.

Thank you, SUZY

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Suzy, I totally agree. I think way to many CD's are so disappointed, so hurt or even mad that they didnot get the acceptance that they wanted, that they forget how the SO must feel. I too look at it from a GG's perspective (as much as my male mind lets me). I can't fault anyone for what they feel, think, or have been socialized to believe. There is no right or wrong. It just is the way they are concerning their feelings toward us CD's. But given time, compassion, love and patience, I think most loving GG's can overcome whatever dislike or fears they might have being with a CD partner.

Suzy interesting thread and always one that spurs a lot of interesting discussion. I assert that this isn't rocket science. The women in our lives, in all likelihood, fell in love with a male image. My bride fell in love with a wiry 6' tall manly man she didn't fall in love with a leggy 6' tall blond woman. Her life was turned upside down by all of this. We have had years to accept this, but many of us expect them to accept it overnight which isn't fair. I have heard many people say that if you are truly in love it will prevail. I am no longer sure. If love could cure all I wouldn't be on this site. I am still holding out hope for the fact that love can help with finding a way to make all of this work for everyone involved.

Some good comments from everyone. When I first came out to my SO, one of her biggest concerns was that I was going to be more feminine than her. Judging from what I have read on the forums that are out there, this is a valid concern. Like someone else said, "women want a man in there life and not another woman, because women like men". Aside from personal issues, I think that a good CDing husband needs to show his SO his manly side also. It is like walking a tightrope, good luck.

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Originally Posted by Ginax

Do you girls think that some GG women do not accept crossdressing partners because they are insecure in their own relationship and feel threatened by another female presence. I know in my case my wife and I had a very strong relationship and this would seem to be the case for several others on this forum who don't seem to have problems being accepted............

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When I found myself attracted to a CD'er I thought it made me a lesbian. I took quite a hard look at myself and discovered I'm not, but I would have been fine with it if I had discovered I was (I would consider a relationship with a woman if the sparks flew). In fact, being a lesbian would have been much easier for me in a lot of ways....

Perhaps actually accepting and even finding an attaction for it confuses the woman about her own sexuality as well has having concerns about the man's sexuality. Maybe it's being secure in your sexuality and loving your SO enough to not worry abou theirs... and knowing that no matter what they won't cheat on you. Communication is probably a big factor in being secure.

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when they see a guy dancing in stripper heels that looks prettier than most girls, it raises questions.. just the way it is.
it's still new to people, maybe the majority attitude will change once they get used to it

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Questions? Yeah, like "How do I get her number?" ;-)

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My bride fell in love with a wiry 6' tall manly man she didn't fall in love with a leggy 6' tall blond woman. Her life was turned upside down by all of this.

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And that really is the whole thing in a nut shell. I'm accepting because I discovered my attraction for crossdressers. I like to think had my ex SO come out to me as a crossdresser I would have been accepting, but... I'll never know. I think it's quite one thing to know what you like and to have something you never knew existed about your SO sprung on you.

I am going to buck the trend here. I don't think women on the whole are as unaccepting as some of us make them out to be. At least at the base level. Yes, it makes a big difference if they are your wife, but there are far more women out there then just your wife so the statement that the majority won't accept includes them.

I think there are two major parts to acceptance. First is the way the person was raised and the social influences in their life. This is a hard thing to overcome or change, so it is what it is. Second is how we present ourselves to them and act around them. I think we do more damage to their perception of us then they can possibly do on their own. Look at all the discussions around here about hiding, sneaking around, lying, etc.... I wouldn't accept that either. Or even if we come out to them, how many of us turn it into a "secret agent" thing where there is always hiding and game playing? I would find that tiring also. One thing that I think has helped my development was that I listen to my family and friends when they say to just do something (like to stop worrying about something). They are right and if I didn't listen, they would grow tired of my antics. This behavior is what can make people start becoming unaccepting.

Do I thing all is rosy and everyone should be accepting? Absolutely not. But I also don't think it should be directly associated with women just not being accepting. I think the majority have a base level of acceptance in them, then it is our presentation of ourselves (not physical, just overall) and our continuing behavior that determines how accepting they stay.

In my own humble opinion, I simply don't see this trend of non-acceptance.

After a horrible breakup caused by my ex-fiance discovering my crossdressing back in my early 20's, I swore to never begin a relationship without letting the person know up-front first. While I did of course come across a lot of women that simply would never accept it, the VAST majority either didn't care, were intrigued by it, or actively loved the idea. I think the assumption that genetic girls are not accepting comes from many that tell their wives after 20 years of marriage. From all I've seen it's the lie that causes the issue, not the crossdressing itself. I think many of us use the crossdressing as a scapegoat for our other less than desirable traits. It's easier to blame the dressing, than it is to accept our own character flaws, (such as lying.) Of course there is also the generational gap, maybe because I'm in my early 30's I see a different sampling of woman than those in their 40's and 50's.

Ultimately I've had many relationships fail over the years, but only ONE was ever related to the crossdressing. Most failed simply because I'm a hard person to live with. Not because I like to wear a dress. I've found my bisexuality for example to be a MUCH bigger issue to women, than wearing a dress. Even that pales to the number of relationships that failed because I'm a stubborn mule-headed fool.

Just looking at numbers though, if only 10% of woman accepted us, that would leave about 20 million women in the US that would happily date a crossdresser.

I go out and openly cross-dress and gender-bend. I have encountered very few women who have communicated discomfort or dislike about it. Let's see... six? And that includes the store clerk on her first day who was flustered more than anything, as she had never before experienced a seeming male asking to try on a skirt (she'd been fine helping me select things for myself.) Of the two that gave nasty looks, one was someone I had seen around a few times before and had a frown for everyone and everything; the other was a demanding woman who waltzed in to a nail salon, started trying to order people around, and was upset that the staff were dawdling about serving her, but were being attentive to me.

The active dislike I get is not much, but what there is of it is expressed far more vocally by males in the roughly 10 to 22 range. Pack age.

The women who give any indication of having noticed what I'm wearing tend to smile, or even chat. I am much more accepted socially when I'm gender bending or Dressed than when I'm apparently pure male.

Do these women take it the step further of "asking me out" or indicating they would like to be asked out? Well, not never, but generally NO. I've only ever had two "dates" in my life, both long before I had any idea I was a cross-dresser. I'm not "on the market", but based upon the reactions I have encountered, I'm relatively sure that if I were, I would find it easier to get dates now, as a known cross-dresser, then I ever had as a "male".

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Originally Posted by suzy1

The point I was trying to get across was to see it from there [the SOs] point of view. That in many cases as much compassion should be felt for them as the crossdresser. [Perhaps more in some cases] It would be very unfair to apportion any blame to a woman for not liking her partner dressing up as a women.

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I agree, it's not easy to navigate for either spouse and thanks for pointing out the wife's POV. :hugs:

But another thing to keep in mind is, the higher degree of gender dysphoria, the fewer GGs will be able to whole heartedly accept trans expression, IMO. In other words, I think it is much easier for a hetero GG to come to terms with a husband who is dualgender (who wishes to express both aspects of his/her gender alternatively) than one who is unhappy in his male self and who wishes to eradicate his male gender.

Our forum members are all at different points along the gender continuum, so it is not surprising there are so many different opinions as to a GG's limits of acceptance and support.

To be honest, I don't believe it has anything at all to do with dressing and more to do with how one expresses themself while dressed.. I feel, that for a GG in some cases ( most ) she fell in love with a man , not a man who wishes to express his/her femme side 24/7 after a few years in a relationship. I feel that this is where the GG feels cheated ,lure and lied to about her mate when in a relationship with a Transgender person..
If open and honest about the degree or spectrume level from the start or atleast telling your protental mate you are Transgender before or at the start of dating would make a big differance.. At the point the door is opened and choices can be easily made. We as Transgender'd males seeking mates complain about rejection due to expressing our true feelings with no acception from our mates is mostly our faults.. We go into a relationship assured we can stop dressing then only find out in time this isn't always true . So from the start , if rejected ,then yes a very shallow and un educated GG.. But never finding out down the road the big surprise..
I can only speak for myself as I express my feeling to a GG who would spring such an event on me after falling in love with her.. Would I accept that she has hairy leggs ,draws or glues on facial hair and shaves her head? Could I take he out in public or around my family or friends? Could I find her attractive still?

But then there are the gender benders, like myself in many ways. Look at the sort of derision we get, even on this forum. Look at the "wouldn't it be strange" thread, or whatever it is called, and see what I mean. Many members here think it is better to present in full fem rather than a mix of the two, due to not confusing the general public. Because too many think in the binary. So what should done is entirely hide one's true sex. Yea that will earn respect.

If it is not about the clothes then why do we run the risk of ridicule, laughter, and a trip to the house of pain, if we choose to wear a skirt in public and NOT present as a woman? Why is it in the forums concerning men in skirts there are droves of women saying "I think it is great as long as it is not MY man"?

I do wonder how the women wearing jeans would have fared had the internet existed in those times. I wonder how many men would look at a woman in jeans of that time and gafaw at it, like I have seen some women do when it comes to men wearing leggings in place of jeans.

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Originally Posted by Pythos

But then there are the gender benders, like myself in many ways. Look at the sort of derision we get, even on this forum. Look at the "wouldn't it be strange" thread, or whatever it is called, and see what I mean. Many members here think it is better to present in full fem rather than a mix of the two, due to not confusing the general public. Because too many think in the binary. So what should done is entirely hide one's true sex. Yea that will earn respect.

If it is not about the clothes then why do we run the risk of ridicule, laughter, and a trip to the house of pain, if we choose to wear a skirt in public and NOT present as a woman? Why is it in the forums concerning men in skirts there are droves of women saying "I think it is great as long as it is not MY man"?

I do wonder how the women wearing jeans would have fared had the internet existed in those times. I wonder how many men would look at a woman in jeans of that time and gafaw at it, like I have seen some women do when it comes to men wearing leggings in place of jeans.

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Good points Pythos, However I enjoy seeing women in jeans .. I think they look very attractive and still keep their Femme apperance ..When most women wear jeans they normally buy jeans made for women and are not out to emulate a man when wearing them.. Not to rain on your post just my opinion..

Well... first, I don't believe that it's really a majority of women who have a problem with it. My perspective may be colored a bit by my age. What might be said of many 50+ women is not likely true of 30- women.

That said... it doesn't matter anyway. Crossdressers aren't a majority of men. We're a minority. So as long as there is a minority of women who at the least think it's cute, and my experience has demonstrated this to be true, then there is balance in the force.

Now, on an individual basis, if you think there aren't any women for you, then you're right. Moping about certain of your own undesirability is a self-fulfilling prophecy; you'll die a hermit.

I wish more GG would honestly response to a post like this, because it gives insight into what or how Crossdressers can be better at sharing this part of themselves with women. This website continues to be a good source of information. If nearly 10% of the male populations is involved with activities expressed on this website I wish more GGs would interact with other parts of this forum just out of curiosity!:daydreaming:

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Originally Posted by IMkrystal

If nearly 10% of the male populations is involved with activities expressed on this website I wish more GGs would interact with other parts of this forum just out of curiosity!:daydreaming:

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I don't want to derail the thread, but I think a TG ratio of 1:10 is highly optimistic. I think it's more in the vicinity of 1:250, or 1:500.

So What? If 1% of hetero males were CDs then 99% of GGs could dispise it and there would still be a mate for everyone. We just have to look a little harder.

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Originally Posted by IMkrystal

I wish more GG would honestly response to a post like this,:

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The problem you have is what do they respond to , yes i know it says the majority will never accept cross dressers but you have to have a point of reference , as in cross dressing to what degree.
I expect quite a few will accept the wearing of underwear, a lot will accept the wearing of skirts , slightly less the wearing of dress`s then you get on to the full works , some will accept that some of the time but when you get to 24/7 and going out then there are going to be a lot less so there are to many variants for them to respond to , some one should ask " to what degree of cross dressing would you happily accept .

Suzy, like others have said, thank you for pointing out the other side of the fence. You are right that both partners need support and understanding.

I'd like to throw in a thought, if women knew from the beginning about a particular man's TG side, then they could make an informed decision about moving forward with their feelings/attraction. I think that a lot of the turmoil that engulfs relationships with a gender variant person are because of the "surprise, I'm not just me I'm also {fill in the blank}". Can't blame 'em at all for being upset.

Well said 2speed

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. Moping about certain of your own undesirability is a self-fulfilling prophecy; you'll die a hermit

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So moving past all the self loathing for a minute....

Do you as a crossdresser think that there is not fear on her side of the fence? Do you not think she would face ridicule from her peers? Or the fear of committing to a man who is on the path of full time transition?

So it not only us who go thru these emotions about acceptance, Its funny how so many say "Oh Woe Is Me...."
No matter what, we as crossdressers are stuck with being who we are. We have to deal with it. GG's have their stuff to deal with too.

Would you compound all the problems in your life based on something that you really dont understand?

Perspective People.....Try looking from the other side of the glass.

-Donni-

Hello Suzy!
You are right. For most women this is a given. My wife hates my CD and will never accept it. When asked why though (for my understanding) I get because it is "no normal", "it is wrong", and I cannot accept you as a man anymore. I just want to know what it is about wearing female clothes that can elicit such a huge amount of angst. It is an answer that will never be answered. CD is just not normal.

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Originally Posted by charlie

I just want to know what it is about wearing female clothes that can elicit such a huge amount of angst. It is an answer that will never be answered. CD is just not normal.

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Honestly Charlie, I think it has a lot more to do than just the clothes. How's your marriage in other areas? How emotionally connected does your wife feel to you? How's her sex life? You travel a lot and you go out a lot dressed to clubs and bars, where (understandably) in past posts you've admired the gorgeous women there. How does your wife feel about this? Does she feel as if she is your priority? How easily do you and your wife get beyond surface issues and communicate about the fundamental things in your relationship?

I'm asking the questions not to get answers here (this isn't the thread for it), but hopefully as a catalyst. You and your wife may need to look into this a little more deeply than you have been?