Sometimes it's not about inflexibility. Sometimes, it has nothing to do with acceptance of the crossdresser. There are other reasons for asking our CD husband's to exercise some discretion.
Example, my family. We have 5 children who don't know about Barbara. This is something she and I have discussed, and we BOTH prefer to wait to tell the children. Therefore, dressing in public is an issue for us. Barbara has, for the most part, had to stay within the confines of our bedroom.
If we told the children tomorrow, then there are other concerns. I WILL NOT subject my children to teasing. It's hard enough being a child, they don't need to deal with teasing. If Barbara dressed in public, other children WOULD tease our children. I work with children, so I say with 100% confidence that this would absolutely happen. Barbara herself waited until after a day camp she was attending with our youngest son before waxing her legs for the very same reason. (edited to add....I know there are those who do live openly, and their children are aware. I appreciate and respect their bravery and honesty. I'm simply too much of a coward to do it)
Am I completely inflexible when it comes to putting our children in the way of possible teasing, misunderstanding, violence (yep, when kids are picked on because they (or their parents) are different it can and does lead to violence)? You'd better believe it. Barbara's need to express her femininity takes a HUGE backseat the the well-being of OUR children
To say that is complete inflexiblity for us to disallow our CD husbands any form of public femme expression is not taking into account the many other reasons that could lead to these decisions. It has nothing whatsoever to do with my love or acceptance for and of Barbara.
I have to echo Salandra and say that this is a decision for each couple to make individually on this issue as meets their own personal needs and situation.
Dee
