Is it complete Inflexibility ?

[Jamie001]

Thank you Jaina,

You hit the nail on the head! Some of the GG's here just don't get that it is selfish and WRONG to not come to a compromise. Life is about compromise. The CD didn't choose to be a CD anymore than someone choose to get cancer, or someone that is born retarded or disabled. The CD was born that way!! That is the part some of the GGs don't understand and it seems that some of them believe that it is the CD's fault and that he should be able to "turn-it-off" like a light switch. Then it seems that the GGs feels that the GG should be able to tell the SO that he will suppress all forms of fem presentation including earrings or shaved legs in male mode.

GG's, it is a "two-way" street, and compromise is the key. :confused2:

That is my :2c:. On second thought that this post is worth 10 cents.

There do seem to be some very Contradictory stances.

There are no clothing double standards, wear what you want, no one can stop you, just don't do it around me, because I have the right to tell you what to wear.:rolleyes:

It seems that this thread has really struck a nerve. Maybe you have some unresolved issues?

I don't need to get a clue. I would suggest that you try to be a little more open-minded. The CD didn't choose to be a CD, he was born that way! It is also wrong to deny a person self expression. Would you like for your SO to dictate what you can and cannot wear? You should think more before hitting the 'Reply" button. :2c:

It is? are you kidding me? Pray tell me, just why should anyone be accepting? who said? with an attitude like that, it's no wonder whoever you're talking about, or whatever, isn't accepting at all, you really have no clue about the real world do you... selfish my ass... fgs get a clue :rolleyes: that has got to be the most insulting thing I've ever heard. Just because you're a CD, does not mean ANYONE has to accept it, it's your issue, no one elses and to call someone selfish for disliking it is beyond

Dee,

As usual you are right and really tend to think things through. Considering what you said, do you think that it may be acceptable for Barbara to have an accepted form of fem expression like earrings 24/7 since this is very common for men these days and would not cause teasing of your children? It is little things like that that can really be a big deal to a CD, although some GGs strictly forbid it even when half of the football teams or TV show hosts are wearing earrings. This was the intent of my original post.

Sometimes it's not about inflexibility. Sometimes, it has nothing to do with acceptance of the crossdresser. There are other reasons for asking our CD husband's to exercise some discretion.

Example, my family. We have 5 children who don't know about Barbara. This is something she and I have discussed, and we BOTH prefer to wait to tell the children. Therefore, dressing in public is an issue for us. Barbara has, for the most part, had to stay within the confines of our bedroom.

If we told the children tomorrow, then there are other concerns. I WILL NOT subject my children to teasing. It's hard enough being a child, they don't need to deal with teasing. If Barbara dressed in public, other children WOULD tease our children. I work with children, so I say with 100% confidence that this would absolutely happen. Barbara herself waited until after a day camp she was attending with our youngest son before waxing her legs for the very same reason. (edited to add....I know there are those who do live openly, and their children are aware. I appreciate and respect their bravery and honesty. I'm simply too much of a coward to do it)

Am I completely inflexible when it comes to putting our children in the way of possible teasing, misunderstanding, violence (yep, when kids are picked on because they (or their parents) are different it can and does lead to violence)? You'd better believe it. Barbara's need to express her femininity takes a HUGE backseat the the well-being of OUR children

To say that is complete inflexiblity for us to disallow our CD husbands any form of public femme expression is not taking into account the many other reasons that could lead to these decisions. It has nothing whatsoever to do with my love or acceptance for and of Barbara.

I have to echo Salandra and say that this is a decision for each couple to make individually on this issue as meets their own personal needs and situation.

Dee