Now I Know I can never tell my wife

[Kelli Michelle]

Why do you have a problem with her reaction? Was she just supposed to ignore the person? If her reaction was completely opposite... if she were somehow attracted to this person... would you have said anything different???

Any crossdresser would have a problem or 99% of them, anyway. It wasn't that she reacted, it' was HOW she reacted. I don't believe it was attraction that that would be the opposite of what the SO was spouting. Stephanie was looking for acceptance , or at least tolerance.

How about if she finds out, BOTH of you will deal with it... Together!

IF Stephanie decides to tell, than yes, that would be the ideal way to go.

Do you know absolutely everything about your wife? What if there was something about your wife that you found out about, maybe even something she tells you, that changes your perception of who your wife really is? What if your wife was so afraid of telling you because she thought it would be a real marriage-killer for you, that you would walk out and leave her as soon as you could? Could you ever forgive your wife for not trusting you with her most intimate information?

First question would be no, no one knows absolutely everything. Quest. 2, that would have to be on a case by case basis. Support for doing something immoral or evil would probably not be forthcoming, for example. Questions 3 & 4, yes I believe that many cders would forgive ( we know how it is, remember?) if there was a very good reason not to share it (fear, societal pressure, hate, loss of family, friends, jobs).

Do not think for a second that we as crossdressers are the only ones walking around with a secret about ourselves! There are other people who carry secrets deep in their soul hoping that they are buried forever and no one will ever know...

Again, we as cders know all that too well.

If you do not want your wife to be 100% emotionally intimate with you, if you do not want your wife to share her heart and soul completely and without reservation, then you should definitely never, ever tell your wife about your crossdressing...

Robyn P.

Sorry, but I think that is just being mean-spirited. I also think that very few couples are 100% emotionally intimate with each other, especially couples that have a known transgender issue. My opinion is that cders would love to share all that with the wife or SO. But because of the reasons already laid out earlier, many feel they can't. They know they are missing out on that sharing, and it hurts.