Now I Know I can never tell my wife

[RobynP]

Sorry, but I think that is just being mean-spirited. I also think that very few couples are 100% emotionally intimate with each other, especially couples that have a known transgender issue. My opinion is that cders would love to share all that with the wife or SO. But because of the reasons already laid out earlier, many feel they can't. They know they are missing out on that sharing, and it hurts.

Mean-spirited? How come we make a promise or make a commitment to enter into an intimate relationship where we expect (and often demand) 100% physical intimacy but we hold back on the emotional intimacy? When we say "I do!" are we really saying "I do except for my crossdressing which I am not going to share with you.."?

The fact that very few couples are 100% emotionally intimate with each other contributes to a 50%+ divorce rate in the US.

Of course, not sharing hurts. I understand completely! I hid my crossdressing from my wife (now ex) for many years. Even when I finally came out to her I still hid most of my crossdressing, not at her request, but because I was so used to hiding, I really didn't know how to do anything else. I did not know how to integrate my crossdressing into our relationship. The door to emotional intimacy was opened just a crack... But I never ripped the door off its hinges... (Actually, every time it swung open it would bonk me in my face...)

I know that many of us are very afraid of telling our wives because of a potential divorce, being outed, losing one's job, or a variety of other evil and nasty things. And, yes, those things have happened to crossdressers... But, in my opinion, many wives can accept their husband's crossdressing in some manner. However, most wives cannot handle the huge lack of trust by their husbands. Lack of trust often is the deal breaker...

Robyn P.