Earlier I wrote "It is what it is."
There is a different but related question, "Would you go back?" or (for MTF) "Would you rather be a 'normal' male?"
The answer for me is to shudder. Even though I do not identify as definitely female, I don't much care for being a 'normal male'. Sure sex and making love were Good Stuff, and yes, I've probably had the benefit of "male privilege" more than a few times, but it grates against my grain. I've been a misfit a long time.
Of course, if there was a Be A Normal Male Pill, then I wouldn't mind about those things afterwards.
So I guess I'm at a place that is right for me to be at considering what I've gone through. Am I "happy", though? Not so much. The suffering I went through to get here... it tires me out, grinds down my spirit. I've been good, I've been conscientious, gentle, generous, hard working, ethical; couldn't the Fates have given me a lesser supply of loneliness and a greater supply of happiness?
