Originally Posted by
Dita_B
Now this reaches to the core of the crossdressing issue. IMHO there is NO COMPROMISE in the cross dressing issue. The crossdressing is not going away, no matter what the consequences. Most crossdressers, me included, have done the dressing for most of their lives, regardless of circumstances or danger of discovery… And we all keep doing it despite what consequences are at stake. It is an evolution process as well because we live and learn. We get better at all aspect of it including better covering our tracks and improving our female appearance… Finally there comes a time when we all conquer our guilt and wish to claim our unalienated right to express ourselves for what we really are. This is a life time process and it is not reversible nor negotiable. Any OTHER issue may be negotiable EXCEPT cross dressing. I am sorry to say this, but in my world this is the way I am and how it stands. I risk a 38 year marriage with my cross dressing and when I recently introduced Dita to my unaccepting SO, she had huge issues with it. She asked me to compare the impact seeing me dressed as Dita with her introducing herself in army fatigues, well knowing that I like to see her dressed as feminine as possible and as often as possible and also that I hate everything army with a passion… (No offense meant to those who wear the uniform out of free choice).
Well, I gave her some sheepish answer, because I couldn’t answer properly… Here it is where we are at loggerheads and I am not going to budge, because budging would mean lying and the lying and deceiving is over and behind me, I had it with lying. So the crossdressing is not going away and the lying is not an option… Not a good start for a negotiation, isn’t it? So I sincerely hope that she can find it in her love for me to accept the crossdresser in me and I in turn will try not to rub her face into it. Every time when Dita now returns from one of her outings, I consider myself in army fatigues in her eyes and although I am ecstatic to see myself in the mirror dressed as Dita and despite I hate it with a passion to take Dita off, I’ll do it for her in an effort to minimize the impact… I noticed for instance that she doesn’t look at Dita when she enters the house. She purposely avoids the sight of her…
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In resume it is a complicated issue and I have limited myself to answering your questions only and I tried to stay away from going on a tangent. However, I would want to stress to you that your relationship is at stake…in your position in regards to your boyfriend’s cross dressing. If he is anything like me, he will not abandon his cross dressing urge, no matter what. He may promise, but in the end the urge will show being stronger than himself. And if you are unaccepting the crossdressing will move back into the closet and/or the lying and secret phase will start all over again. It is up to you what you chose. I wouldn’t be able to live with a partner that dresses in army fatigues out of passion, much less making love to her, so I can understand that a compromise for his crossdressing may not be in your dictionary. However, if you would compromise, he would still be the guy you fell in love with and perhaps you may realize that one of the reasons you fell in love with him may well have been the fact that he acted towards you more from the female side of things…
