Aspects I Don't Understand

[Sheri 4242]

I don't say any of the following lightly!!!

I've been watching this thread with great interest! It certainly has inspired some in-depth, passionate responses! I responded, separately, to both Sobe and Leah a few pages ago. Since then, as more and more opinions and commentaries have been posted, I have been wondering if Sobe has really pondered her journey from when she first came to this forum and where she is today?!! IMO, where Sobe was and where she now is, vis-a-vis where Leah was and is, may hold the ultimate answers Sobe is seeking!!!

Back in April, Sobe posted:

I am a GG whose boyfriend came out as a crossdresser pretty recently. Needless to say, I'm having a really hard time with it. One problem I have is that now we aren't just a couple anymore. We are a crossdressing couple. I hate that we have to be defined that way. Can't we just be the two of us? It also makes me feel like he is now more important in the relationship than I am. It's all about him and his crossdressing.

Note that even back then Sobe was aware that (a.) it is "all about him and his crossdressing," and (b.) (his crossdressing) made her feel like his desires were more important than her in their relationship! Since that post back in April, it seems, too, that it is more than just crossdressing, but is questionably hovering on the question of whether Leah is a mtf heterosexual crossdresser or is transsexual, or what???

As I recall, back in April, Sobe was given a great deal of advice based on "where" she and Leah were at that point in time -- centering on communicate, educate, compromise!!! That said, even then -- and especially now, given what Leah has said -- the picture has changed. Even by Leah's own words, the picture is that it is all about him and the importance of what he wants!!! Leah doesn't seem to be able, or want, to step back and move at a pace that accounts for the adjustments Sobe needs time to make -- if she can make them at all!!!

I think that it is human nature to resent Leah B when it is she that is keeping the love of your life away from you . . . This is . . . unbalanced . . .

Does Sobe have to deny herself everyday of the week?????? Does Leah B get full rein of everything just because he is confused and can't see past his own desire's to see things clearly???

Sorry don't buy this argument. It is a two way street. I want to live my life the way I want to also but I gave up some of that control when I got married. THAT IS JUST LIFE!!! Kitty

Kitty, I completely understand where you are coming from; it seems to me, based on what Leah has said (and what else can we go on but that), that there is no compromising in their relationship -- at least not from Leah's side!!! The relationship is totally unballanced!!!

Another great GG here and I were discussing change and our conclusion is that coming out, finding out, your male partner is TG (CD-TS; pick anywhere in between) changes both the SO and the CD. "I'm still the same person" argument does not hold water.

Clearly many of us have empathy for Sobe and Leah's situation!!! Likewise, Leah isn't the same person she was back in April!!!

I hardly represent every transsexual out there, but I am very happy with the choices I have made -- happy for the first time in my life to be perfectly honest.

At the end of the day this is where Sobe and Leah need to be -- happy with the choices they each have made!!! If they can work it out, then so much to their credit!!! Do I see that happening??? Not the way things seem to be going!!! As the song says, "breaking up is hard to do." But, there comes a time when you've got fish or cut bait. Sobe's ability to love unconditionally can only take so much draining -- and things won't get any better if Leah refuses to meet her half way. Sorry if this seems blunt, but it is just my opinion of where I see the relationship!!!