Originally Posted by
Beth-GDB
Personally I think some people have been a bit harsh on Goofus in this thread. I can still vividly remember how nervous I felt going in to a store to buy fem clothing when I started to buy the clothes. I still don't have the nerve to try things on in store (I've done that twice but that's all). Having someone say "you should act like..." is one thing, actually doing it yourself when you're just starting can be quite challenging at times.
Just like pretty much everything else in life we learn by trying, we're not born with a "How to be a CD" manual. Sometimes we make mistakes, it's all part of the learning experience.
Goofus, if it's not too late, I'd personally reccomend that you don't send any angry letters to anyone. Based on your description of what happened, you didn't do anything wrong at all, but to use a saying, "you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar". A polite and clearly non-hostile paper letter to the store manager explaining that you are a CD who wanted to buy some clothes but felt nervous/embarressed due to how many other customers were in the store should be all that's neccesary.
If you send an angry letter that's confrontational, whoever reads it will be more inclined to think "we really don't need angry customers like this, they can stay banned". A calm letter that doesn't make rash accusations about the store staff is much more likely to make the person reading it think "we misjudged that person".
Be polite, be calm, and try to say in the letter that you can understand why the store staff did what they did. Your objective here is to get the store manager to sympathise with your situation and as a result change their opinion of you. By offering an "olive branch" to them by showing some sympathy towards their side of that situation, you're far more likely to get the store manager onto your side.
Before anyone says I'm telling Goofus to "back down when it's unjustified", put yourself in the store manager's position. Angry customers are the last thing that any store wants, they can be extremely irritiating/frustrating to deal with and don't win anyone's sympathy. Unless the store manager you're dealing with is a complete asshole, they're much more likely to treat you with dignity and respect when you behave dignified and respectfully to them.
Assuming you can get the store manager to change their mind and welcome you back to the store, don't be afraid of the sales assistants. After dealing with however many asshole customers that they have (and don't think for a second that they haven't unless it's their very first day on the job), dealing with a customer who's a bit embarressed is much easier. Even if a specific sales assistant doesn't personally approve of CDing, they should at least still help you in a courtious and polite manner. If it helps, ask the store staff to reccommend a time for you to visit when the store is less busy so that (1) you aren't as embarressed by the other people there and (2) the sales assistants are less likely to be interrupted by other customers wanting help.
In fact, you'd be very suprised how many female SA's think it's actually fun to help a guy pick out fem items for himself. Until a few months ago I never bothered with makeup/cosmetics. I went to a place that had a good range and told one of the SA's that I was after a basic set of fem cosmetics for myself. She kept telling me how much fun she was having while testing out different products on me to see how well they'd suit me. At the end of it all she told me that all by myself I'd totally turned her day around.
