IMO, hun, it's not the panties that the GGs can't understand, it's your words not matching your actions.
You say it's just panties, just a fetish, but you can't stop, they are a huge turn on for you and you definitely express a tremendous amount of shame for doing it.
Drives my husband nuts, but people you are close to can usually tell when something's being omitted or covered up. We may not know what, but many can certainly tell when karma is out of balance. You words of "this is no big deal" are followed with actions showing what a big deal it is. I do congratulate you for choosing GGs who are secure in themselves and also not controlling. Instead of trying to change you, they understand they don't want to live with the incongruity and move on.
Get right with yourself. Love yourself and stop trying to be what someone else wants you to be - that's exhausting! Once you get your psychie peaceful and aligned, the relationships will just fall into place. Good luck!
