I absolutely believe it is possible for our wives to truly love us and yet utterly reject our femme sides. My wife loved me for over 7 years with no idea that I was bi-gendered. In very real ways she fell in love with an illusion. So often we say that we're still the same person they knew before, but that's not really true. Sure, many of the qualities that she so loves about me are traditionally ascribed to females, but honestly isn't that a sexist way to look at it? I don't have to wear a dress to be a nurturing father to my children or be understanding about the extra time it takes for her to get ready to go out.
My wife loves me without condition, but that does not mean she would be happy living the rest of her life with a woman should I decide to transition. If that were to become a reality she would not reject me as a person, but she would be hard pressed to accept me as a partner and lover. The physical aspects of opposite sex attraction are powerful and certainly valid. I think sometimes our community is too quick to reject that idea.
