You have a point, however, with the exception of a few particularly selfish people, I haven't seen anyone reject that idea. Crossdressers often have the unusual curse of balancing their identity with the attraction of their partner, and have to face that fact on a daily basis.
I have been blessed with never having to face that dilemma, and could not possibly imagine it being any other way. But to each their own I suppose.
Btw, to the ggs who ended up getting more than they bargained for, I totally sympathize with you. I doubly commend the ones who are willing to make compromises in he face of an act of dishonesty. All I want to do is submit my flipside advocations to peer review.