I'm sorry Annie, but I have to disagree a little. While it may be violating a code of secrecy to talk to a third party about the things that bother us most, women in general usually have a good support network where they bounce around situations and scenarios to get feedback on what they should do (I did say generally). I have found that even on the most personal of levels, they would have saught feedback from at least one close friend about their opinions on what they should do.

As genetic males we tend to not have these support networks and generally view any conversations with third parties as a violation of this secrecy. That is not what this network is about. Not many of us even know of others in the "real" world who are in this scenario. This forum is our close "female" friend to whom we can chat and seek feedback from others in similar situations.

If she understands that no "intimate" details are being discussed and anonymity is assured. So long as we don't do the guy thing and hold up actions of others as an example of what she should do, there should be no harm done.

We should all be free to gain the support of others, even if it is over the internet. Sorry, but it is a guy thing. We don't do the cry over a coffee thing well. Comes over a bit wimpy.

Anyway, Crossdrezzer1, it's great you are open and sharing with your SO. It is fantastic that she is willing to try to understand and sharing with you her own boundaries. The ball is back in your court and you need to understand if you can accept her terms. Sounds like you are on the road to a wonderful, open and caring relationship. Keep open the lines of communication, don't make the mistake of pushing her past her limits. Be careful when bringing in
third parties though, three in a bed may be fun but it doesn't last (figuratively speaking - not literally, well maybe). After 17 years of marriage, my wife suggested I should seek others with a similar bent and she would explore her's. I looked for friendship, she ended up in anothers bed. We were divorced within months with lots of anguish on both parties.

And don't forget to have fun!!!!!

Portia