I understand exactly what you're saying - but you can explain it all day here and the majority of the people on this forum will be 100% clueless.
I don't feel that CD-ing is a "blessing", I hate it. I absolutely hate the fact that I have the desire to CD. Even though I'm not actively CD-ing at the present time, can I stop thinking about it? What do you think the answer is to that question?
I would also take a pill to stop all desire to CD. In a HEARTBEAT.