One is allowed to stand up for themselves. Your outburst was very understandable. When someone attacks you, you are entitled to protect yourself.
Now you have to address whatever is going on in her mind. I would tell her that you didn't appreciate being attacked like that, was hurt, and that you responded like anyone would in a similar situation. However, you realize that there is a an underlying issue, and you want to resolve that as well as can be done. I would talk about respect for her opinions (of course one doesn't have to agree with them), love, etc. Than I would ask for a loving, adult conversation about her issues or whatever she wants to talk about. I believe at this point you need to focus on her, rather than your cding issues, per se, though obviously they may come up.
You need to at least try to remove the the anger she has, if possible. I would bet, though, it will take some time. Rome wasn't built in a day (god i hate that cliche---lol).
Best of luck to you both.
