Quote Originally Posted by curse within View Post
I think it's very important to come out to your wife g/f very early and just as important be honest in the CDing level as well with your intentions( how far you desire to take it).

If most CDers act in real life as they do here , you must have very understanding wives and or G/Fs.. A lot here talk the talk hey listen are you Gay? That is one of the first questions asked after they find out from most. Define Gay, is it someone who perfers a sexual relationships with the same gender? So in saying that for those who wish to be female how do you think that must make your S.O. feel after hideing such a secret?

Do you demand acceptance or do you perfer to earn it? Thats the question , a great start would be honesty right out of the gate in a relationship. So many come here and complain about how they get rejected in their everyday life and blame their CDing as the cause. So many hold such a chip on their shoulder from years of defending their actions and why? No it's not because of CDing its from the character that you built in your inner ego , how you have felt all these years of shame because you have done something considered unacceptable by most.

As we CDers get older our biggest regret was not accepting our lifestyle more openly , we have lived a life of lies and hurt the ones who loved us as we loved them. No it wasn't because of crossdressing it was because we were not honest. I am happy to say I was honest from the start with my wife and only she knew .
You make good points. But the reality of both the CD and SO being raised in transphobia needs to be considered. That while the virtuous thing to do is for the CD to be honest and the SO totally accepting instantly neither of these things is always possible because we are human and subject to human frailties, including the unconcious influence of social pressures.

However not only do we have the power to change that now we know more, though it's hard for everyone and none of us should ignore that fact, but we have a responsibility not just to ourselves and our families and our TG descendants to do so but also a responsibility to those who will be raised in the same amount of transphobia we were unless we lessen it.

We who can know better and can act are responsible for the transphobia future CDs experience and we must weigh the personal cost, CDs and GGs too, with the cost of being responsible for what other CDs and their Partners will go through. Of course there is risk and cost tou ourselves, but we choose what harm will come to others by our inaction.