Lorileah,
I don't understand what you don't get about us wanting a man...it is a man we chose, we didn't know until later that tables would be turned on us. If we aren't bi, we aren't physically attracted to women, so if he presents as a woman, that's how we see him...end of physical attraction. That is what we mean. No it doesn't mean we want a chauvinist pig, etc., that's not what we chose either...he's not that whether he presents as a man or dressed. It's really about physical attraction...basically he's the same inside whether dressed or not, but there's many of us that struggle with the idea of physical sex with someone who LOOKS like a woman, even if we know intellectually it is still our man. It does a number on us. Some of us may be able to get past that...some may not. But there are times we want a "man"...who looks like a man, talks like a man, smells like a man, acts like a man. If your wife looked and smelled like a man 24/7, wouldn't you miss the "her" that you married?
