Actually, done properly, B&D is an amazingly intimate relationship. It requires immense trust and respect. The trust and respect present in most such relationships I know of is deeper and more profound than I have EVER found in traditional sexually active relationships. Believe me, the submissive partner is in reality in full control - but not so in the way it is commonly understood. It takes astounding control and trust to be able to be so sure if your control that you can actually allow that control to be taken charge of by another. I'm nit talking about paid pros here, although there are a few that are incredible, but I'm talking two kindred souls who share this form of power play as a means to explore ultimate intimacy. Only someone who has had the good fortune to know and have been led through their learning if these practices can truly understand. A good Dom knows when it is ok to subjugate and control, even demean, violate, his sub, butwould never conceive of doing such a thing in the face of real-life situations for which there exists a much more equal and balanced power arrangement. Sine if the best parents I know have been seriously involved in bdsm - but they talk about decisions and respect each other completely in important matters. Some folks do voluntarily give up total control in all areas of life and live as a slave as an ultimate life-long erotic act- but this is rare and is something that makes them feel wildly alive, at least those I have known personally. Power play, gender play... They are all explorations of our deepest unconscious structures, and as such, for those who dare to look beneath the surface, there can be immense personal growth and transformation.
Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
