What Happens in Vegas, . . .

[Kathi Lake]

Wow, what a long week and a very long day!

After a lovely flight from Las Vegas to Salt Lake, I drove myself to work, where I still am past midnight. I have to get this stupid app compiled so my guys in China can test it during their Monday (I'm running out of time!!). Sigh.

In the middle of my usual "compile, get errors, fix errors, compile" cycle, I decided to write my adventures of today. Why not, eh?

First, I left my maid a note with a $10.00 tip saying "Thank you so much for all the little things you did - organizing my makeup on the counter, ignoring my bras, skirts, and all of my other clothes thrown around the room, and basically making me - a boy who likes to dress like a girl - feel welcome."

Feeling extra adventurous, I decided to wear my lace cami under my black shirt, hoping that the straps wouldn't show through. I also gave myself a spritz of Burberry Brit perfume. As I made my way to the convention center on the monorail, I made sure that my button was undone and my laptop bag "inadvertently" opened my shirt up enough so that the lace was showing. I then looked to see who noticed. It was funny to watch the expressions as they glanced at my face, my chest, back to my face with widened eyes, and, occasionally, a smile.

While walking the show floor later in the day, there was a lady in the Ed Hardy booth with huuuuuge, . . . tracts of land in a very skimpy bikini and very cute shoes. After waiting for the throng of admirers to get their picture taken with most likely the first "real girl" they've ever been near, I told her how cute her shoes were and asked if they were from bebe. She brightened immediately and said, "They look like bebe, don't they? I actually got them for about half their price." She told me where she got them and how much she paid. I told her that at that price, they definitely weren't bebe! We chatted for a bit, with the guys around us getting nervous/impatient. I'm sure they were thinking, "Come on, you two girls, stop gabbing about cute shoes and lemme take my picture!" She smiled at me, gave me a hug and said, "Thanks for talking with me. You are so super sweet!" Then she quietly added, "It's just what I needed after getting mauled all day." Aww shucks. That's me - the Boy Scout.

Earlier this week, I mentioned the set of ladies we hired, I think. They are both 23 and drop-dead gorgeous! I figure that I had told every other woman in the booth, so why not them? They were wearing some thigh-high white high-heeled boots, and I have been commiserating with them on how hard it must be to wear heels and walk around so much. Today, I said, "You know, I wish that I could wear heels here in the booth. I think the difference in shoe height would help my aching feet." They laughed, agreed and said they would be more than happy to let me trade shoes with them. I said that they probably wouldn't fit and they asked me what size shoe I was. I told them that I was usually a 9 1/2 or a 10 in women's, depending on the style of the shoe. Their eyes got big and they said, "How cool! You wear women's shoes? We have a friend who is the same size shoe as us, and even clothes too, and we got to dress him up a few times. He really made a cute girl, but he didn't have as much fun as we did." I told them that that was a shame, and that if they were to dress me up, I would promise to have fun. I then pulled out my iPhone and showed them my picture. One of them took the phone, brought it close, studied the image for a moment and said, after I convinced them that it was me, "You are so pretty! That's really you? Look at your poise and the way you're standing! You've done some modeling, haven't you? We can tell." I tried to convince them them that the only modeling that I had done was building model cars. They said that a lot of girls would be very jealous of my body. We talked about it for a bit, them asking me the standard questions, and then, of course, the gabfest devolved into fashion and makeup - where to get the best deals on shoes, what their favorite eyeshadows were, etc. (Yes, Suzanne, we talked about clothes and makeup. Is that so wrong? ). The other one said, "You get really happy when you talk about this stuff, don't you? Isn't it fun being a girl?" I agreed that it was a blast. Hair, makeup, clothes - the whole shebang. They still wanted me to have their shoes and even their micro-miniskirt. They said with my legs, they'd look great on me. Plus, they said all they were going to do with them was scrawl their thoughts on them of how much they hated them and burn them.

After our long chat was done and I got some great hugs from the girls, the other guys in the booth came up to me and said, "Wow, that was a long talk. You guys sure looked like you were having fun. What were you talking about?" I just said, "Oh, you know - just some girl talk" with a smile. They asked me what my secret was to attract all these hot women. Although it would be fun to tell them the truth, I just said, "I guess I'm just on their wavelength. Plus, to impress a woman, simply show them that you value them as a person, not as an object. They respond to that - the pretty ones especially, since everyone else treats them as less then human, it seems." I don't think they understood that (or wanted to understand it). Ah well. I guess they're doomed to unfulfilling relationships. Pity.

Woo hoo!! everything finally compiled! Time to send this puppy off to China and head back to my wife and a familiar bed. I hope you enjoy me telling just a small portion of my adventures in girliness. It's a fun life!

Kathi