Something we are all missing here.
To the OP.
STOP TREATING IT LIKE SOME G.D. DISEASE!!!
Stop acting like what you are doing is wrong. Hiding it as long as you did was very wrong, but there is nothing to be done about that.
But, and I mean this, don't go to counseling to reinforce quitting.
YOU ARE DOING NOTHING WRONG.
As far as your wife is concerned, you acting like what you are doing is wrong just reinforces HER not liking it. It justifies an irrational reaction (and wanting to cut off your marriage just because of this is highly irrational.)
You have dumped a tremendous load onto her and it is going to take a long time for her to come to grips, if she can.
Now, and I may take some flack for this, but this is how I see this, especially in this day and age.
If she is unable to come to grips with what you do, then it is no longer YOUR FAULT, it is a short coming of her own.
How strong was your relationship before you did this, were there any other issues that were between you two?
But for the love of Pete stop behaving like what you are doing is something that must be corrected, that only weakens and already weak position.
BOTH OF YOU get to counseling, with someone that has dealt with this situation before. Don't go to any faith based stuff either, unless they are a more modern place that acknowledges people were created in many moulds.
