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Thread: The Wife Finally Knows The Truth

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  1. #1
    My name is Carol Julogden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christy_M View Post
    I am fairly certain that if my current wife were to toss me out, I would ultimately find another woman to spend my life with. That would probably start without talking about Christy. Not because she doesn't exist but because she is not what a "normal" man brings to a relationship. Of course this is both my opinion and my hell that I have to carry with me through the rest of my days.
    So you intend to make the same mistake twice?

    If you and your wife do decide to go your separate ways, do yourself and any future prospective partners a huge favor and work out your gender issues before getting into any more serious relationships, and be upfront about them. Tell right away, not after the partner has been deceived into thinking that you're not a CD.

    Carol
    My name is Carol.

  2. #2
    Banned Read only Satrana's Avatar
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    People routinely use their religious beliefs to justify their close mindedness. If your wife believes God is on her side then you have no hope. The fact that she has already given you an ultimatum in the past indicates she is willing to put everything on the line to get her way.

    I agree with others - it is your wife's prejudice that needs to be cured not you. But if your church is conservative and backs your wife's POV then the best of luck, you will need it.

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member Christy_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julogden View Post
    So you intend to make the same mistake twice?

    Carol
    It would be the third time. For some reason, I have relied heavily on relationshiops to "cure" me. I know that this is neither probable or possible. I have grown up my whole life believing that there is something wrong with me for this and I still haven't fully accepted myself as Christy. I am sure it will come in time. On the wife front, she is talking seriously about setting boundries so I may be able to keep the love of my life and express Christy with some degree of regularity. I know her concerns and she understands, now, that this will probably never go away. She doesn't want to lose her family over this any more tahn I do so it looks like we might be able to work through it together.

    Thanks, again, for all the support and feedback. It sends me further down the path to self acceptance. between this forum and my wife's support, it should be much easier.

    Christy

  4. #4
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christy_M View Post
    I am fairly certain that if my current wife were to toss me out, I would ultimately find another woman to spend my life with. That would probably start without talking about Christy. Not because she doesn't exist but because she is not what a "normal" man brings to a relationship. Of course this is both my opinion and my hell that I have to carry with me through the rest of my days.
    Quote Originally Posted by Christy_M View Post
    For some reason, I have relied heavily on relationshiops to "cure" me.
    Therein lies the problem. How can you expect a wife to understand, if you don't accept yourself?

    More importantly, how can you expect a wife to accept if you cannot tell her for sure whether you will want to become a woman or not, as you stated in your first post?

    If you've spent your life trying to purge Christy because you felt she was not a part of a "normal" man's life and that your wives deserved better, it makes sense to me that your repressed feelings have prevented you from fully knowing how far you want to take it. And perhaps the same repressed feelings have caused you to reach a point of over-romanticizing life as a woman, to the point where you do not know if you are TS or not.

    I may be off the mark here, but it seems to me that if you had instead given yourself permission to be Christy free of guilt, you might have reached a place of balance and would now be able to also enjoy your male side. This would have made it easier to tell your wife in all honesty that you are a CD, not a TS, and she might not feel so threatened over potentially losing her husband.

    If you can't tell your wife that you do want to continue being her husband and you do not intend on living full-time, I'm afraid the likelihood that she will eventually understand and come to accept the CDing is slim. Many wives can and do get over their initial objections once they educate themselves and if they feel the CDing will not threaten their marriages.

    Please think about this. It would be a shame to have your marriage end simply because you've repressed Christy too much.
    Reine

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Christy_M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post

    Please think about this. It would be a shame to have your marriage end simply because you've repressed Christy too much.
    Wow...I believe that all feedback is cause for self reflection and this valuable nugget has me more confused than I already was. Of course I know this is possible. Could my desire to be normal be pushing me to maintain some peripheral stereotypical manly things so I don't wander to far to the femme side? This will certainly be a topic of my discussion for my therapist next week.

    You are right I have romanticized being female as I was growing up. I think that ended years ago but I do still think about what if. I know telling my wife was important for a number of reasons including trying to gain some self acceptance. Maybe now I should figure out how to deal with this new fear that I may not know the end point for quite some time.

    The more Christy comes out of her shell, the more I don't understand what it means.

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