Originally Posted by
clayfish
Let us step back for a moment and take stock ...
This thread started with a question, "Has anyone experienced a divorce in which crossdressing was the root cause?" (I have paraphrased it slightly.)
I expressed the opinion that crossdressing, per se, is never the root cause and that there are always other factors involved, which are not always entirely obvious.
I have re-read Carol's posts.
She has stated that she has always been willing to compromise on the issue, and her wife not.
This point of view is the one which contains a flaw.
Had Carol been prepared to compromise, she would have done as so many of us on this site have done ... quit crossdressing for many years until the kids left home.
But she could only go cold turkey for a couple of years.
The counsellor tried to get Carol's wife to accept the she is a CDer (see a later post) but she refused to.
I wonder two things ...
(a) Did the counsellor try to get Carol to modify her own stance in any way? Perhaps Carol will enlighten us.
(b) Why was Carol's wife unable to modify her position? If we can shed some light on this question, perhaps we will be able to clear the present impasse and understand the situation better.
[My own divorce certainly had some elements of Carol's situation in it ... my wife refused even to go to a counsellor ... but there were other reasons for her refusal to open her life to scrutiny ... I'll leave it at that.]
My name is Carol.
