Hi Pythos,
I am continually amazed by the way some of these posts go... I totally understand where you are coming from and there will be many here that also do, though they will not post as the developing "consensus" appears to be attacking what they have read into your words.
I do "get it" (Sorry Sandra) and it speaks volumes to me. I totally understand the views expressed by the GG SOs on the site and empathise with them. However, I wish people would also support, or at least try to understand everyone in our community who is trying to express their issues and fears, and not just those who subscribe to the "party line".
I did not tell my SO before we married and have subsequently been living what many here will label here as a "lie". I have deceived her, I have hidden things, all of that. But when we got married and even after the birth of our first child I did not know I was a CD. Back then CD wasn't even a term used. So when over the years I struggle with what seems to be a strange infatuation, at what point do I get the shining light that says "You are a CD and it will never go away... you need to tell your SO right now!". I am sorry it didn't work like that.
It is a lot more complicated with lots at stake... like people's lives, especially when kids are involved. So I thought it would go away and it did... for years at a time. How could I know it would just come back stronger? Where was the crystal ball?
One day I will be able to express my issues and talk to people about them. I thought that this site would allow that. It would appear that if we do bring up deep rooted fears and issues that do not conform to "policy" we get attacked.
Apologies if this is a rant, but this thread has got me going. Sandra, I know you are a Super Mod and therefore I should defer and will probably get banned now for disagreeing with the "force majeur", but I just have to say... I wish more people here would "get it" - i.e. understand where Pythos and others are coming from or at least accept that there are other ways of looking at things.
I have spent my entire life trying to do the right thing. What I read here over and over is how I have been a shit person who has lied and cheated on his wife and family. I'm sorry. I am really really sorry!
Pythos is right... for some of us FEAR is at the heart of things.
