A Simple Question...

[Holly]

...Seriously, we are different. We do things that most people do not do. Many people have problems reating to things that are not done by most members of the tribe.

Mountain climbers are different and do things that most people do not do and yet I hear nothing of hatred of mountain climbing.

Its different and people are afraid of different things. Either that or it makes them look at themselves and scares them.

Do you mean that it scares them because it makes them admit to themselves that they have had the same curiosity?

I am going to be painfully blunt here. There are some crossdressers that look good dressed. And we certainly have some here!
But there are some that don't. I think no mater how you look thats fine.
But out there in the nasty old world others see a man in a dress and to them it looks anything but good. They don't like it. They think its weird, sick, perverted even.
Now when these same people see a gorgeous looking drag queen it seems to be different. Even acceptable.
I know that's not the complete answer but its part of it I think.
I even have to admit, if I see a woman in men’s clothes I find it unpleasant.
That’s just how I see it.

Are you saying if we were all beautiful (whatever that means) then we would be accepted? GG's who fall short on the beautiful scale (again, whatever that means) are accepted as part of society although I am sure it is true that they not attain some of the privileges those who are perceived to be more attractive acquire

I think that crossdressing may be considered as a threat to the masculine ideal,...

Using this type of logic, wouldn't GG's also threaten this so called ideal by the very fact that they are feminine?

The supposedly ideal in that a man never cries, he must protect, he must show strength, he must never back down from a fight, he must be loyal and supportive. To me this ideal is very hard to change, in particular when some males may show weakness but hide behind a mask of so called neanderthal mentality...

Is this ideal hard to change in society or in yourself?

I am strong, I will put down anyone who says I am weak.
This means that a family who is heavily based on the ideal man may become furious if there daughter marries a guy who does not conform to their ideals hence conflict...

So who is wrong here? The cross dresser or the family who based their ideals on a flawed concept?

It is very sad that so many problems arise from the "ideal male" and many forms of "maleness" have evolved, only to be suppressed by the "ideal male"...

This would indicate to me that the ideal male concept itself must be flawed if it has to be constantly revised.

Unfortunately this attitude may take a long time to change, but with so much confusion about who crossdressers are, any change for the better will take much education and that takes time and commitment.
I think that anything "out of the taken norm" will be considered as a threat from a closed society and that is so sad, but heck didn't poor old Copernicus have a problem putting forward his ideas on a sun centered universe and not the earth?

I do believe you are on to something here. Don't we all feel a bit ill at ease when visiting someplace we have never been before? Landing at a new airport aren't we a little tense until we find out where the baggage claim is and where ground transportation is available? I agree... we need to discover a way to overcome the inertia of complacency at rest.

...It's not the Clothing per say, its what it resembles how one acts when dressed or how you are perceived by others when dressed.. Walk around naked , you will be noticed, a guy wearing a dress is just a Taboo...

But why is it Taboo? That is the question.

...There is nothing wrong in wearing clothing, are you wearing makeup as well? Are you in a wig and pumps? This is telling others that you are not JUST WEARING CLOTHING.. You are telling others you have a Femme/Masculin side that needs to be expressed. something that unless they have a Femme/Masculin side them selfs would never understand.. So without understanding you walking around or yearing the desire to express the Femme side you have are considered a freak!! Just as you would be if you were to walk around naked..

I don't understand quantum physics but I don't think physicists are freaks. There has to be something more at work here.

A good question and i am looking forward to seeing any replies from the GGs on the clothes side of it only .

Me too :D

...I personally think it has a lot to do with sexual connotations possibly linked to the same sort of thing that people think when they see a woman in a very short skirt people start to think that it is worn for a reason other than just enjoyment .

Do you think those among us who tend to dress more conservatively experience less hostility? You may have a point... at least from the male side of the population.

I think it is because we upset the apple cart. If we look halfway decent then straight men have mixed feelings towards the woman they see if they realize that woman is actually a man. We threaten their sexual bearings. Rather than being their problem, they put the blame on us for creating those confusing thoughts they're having.

That's my opinion at least for this moment.

But what about the women? Are you saying we may be threatening their own sexuality?

It is associated with a private matter of fantasy and deception. It conveys weakness and betrayal of the masculine privilege. It assumes homosexuality which also betrays the masculine privilege.

You are right in that we are slow learners at times. Look at how long it took us to give women the right to join men in self governance by extending the privilege of voting to them. Or persons of color to sit anywhere on the bus they chose.

..There is a distaste for instability. To many the act of crossing gender lines means the accepted standards are irrelevant. It means people have to change and think and care for someone they never met...

When outhouses were abandoned in favor of indoor plumbing and flushing toilets, I don't recall reading about a huge revolt against it. We change accepted standards all the time.

..But mostly it is because certain religions are very intolerant and teach that it is ok to hate someone for who they are and what they do. Pretty much everything I said before that statement is just smoke and mirrors to avoid the elephant in the room.

Would it surprise you that I have received condemnation for offending god from members of this very forum simply for being transsexual? Even our own community contains people blinded by religious prejudice.

Let's not go here too deeply. There is a whole section of the forum devoted to discussing religious issues. Let me just say factually very few religions teach hatred and condemnation. But there are an unfortunately high number of individuals who distort and pervert the basic tenants of some religions. It does do us no good to paint religion with the same broad brush we ourselves are all too often painted with.

This question of why cross dressing is wrong and my comments are only intended to spur thought and discussion. I hope I have not offended anyone as none was intended. Several different possibilities to the rejection of cross dressing have been offered and all have some degree of merit. What I was hoping to find was some common denominator we could identify and start working on. The closest so far is fear of the unknown/misunderstood. Other thoughts?