I'd like to say the same thing.Originally Posted by JulieC
Welcome to the forum, Shiny.What I'm about to say may seem harsh, but as an outsider, it is objective. I do want to tell you that I have been fully supportive of my SO in and out of the bedroom since the beginning and we go out everywhere together when she's herself. But, she was honest with me from the very start, so I went into the relationship with my eyes wide open.
From your story, I gather that your ex was OK with the concept of alternative lifestyles and also CDing as long as it wasn't in her backyard, but she didn't take it well when you told her about yourself some years into the marriage. I want to point out this is natural for most people, no matter the issue. It's easier to adopt a laissez-faire attitude when issues don't impact us directly. It's also difficult to deal with broken trust when the truth comes out after some years.
You chose to use the time immediately after she found out, when she was coming to terms with being married to a CDer, to sneak behind her back and wear her clothes. She eventually came around and tried to be supportive, yet you insisted on resorting to subterfuge and sneaking panties into your shopping cart for example. I'm not putting you down for wanting the panties, but this is a passive way of dealing with it and it would have been best for the two of you to deal with it differently. Your actions eroded her trust further. And last, you say she threatened and blackmailed you during arguments. Did she ever follow through, since you are prepared to deny who you are to anyone she *may* tell and try to make her out to be crazy? And did you ever say things in anger to her as well? Just wondering.
I don't want to take away from your pain and your frustration. The situation wasn't easy for you either. But, there are always two sides to every story.
