I told my wife!

[Samantha43]

That's a wonderful story Jennifer. Thank you for sharing.

[Jonianne]

That is wonderful Jennifer! As was previously mentioned, it's likely her acceptance will vary greatly, especially as you start to expand your femme side. Often the pink fog of acceptance will push you to want even more acceptance, possibly to the point of going further than your wife is comfortable with. I speak from experience.

Now is the time to spend plenty of time talking to her about boundries and groundrules. They can always be expanded later when she is more comfortable and secure, but you are in a relationship and you want to keep it a healthy one.

Always, Always accept her level of acceptance. And let her know you accept her level of acceptance. You will gain so much more in your relationship with her, by going at her pace and letting her lead.

[Patrice_CD]

Jennifer,
I'm glad to hear how well things went as my wife and I discussed things last night. We aren't as sly as we think no matter how hard we try to cover up. I put on one blouse of my wife's while she was gone for several weeks (I've purchased all of my own clothing but wanted an idea of fit) and when she came home last week she noticed it wasn't where she had put it. Must be that 6th sense the female form has :-) I'm so glad things went well. Stories like these will surely help others with coming out to the SO.
Patrice

[mskanuchi]

Great thing being honest. I was honest from the start with my wife, it's just taken me 15 years to get to a point where I can concentrating on my dressing. Now that the houses are paid for and the financial burden is eased, she's fine with me having my personal fun. We even wen to the nail salon together yesterday, I had a pedi and my toenails are bright pink, was so nice to wake up to this morning.
You're a lucky person, keep it honest and real, you never know just how much pressure it'll take off.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Jennifer,


We have almost recited the same playbook..... and the best think is that my wife also had the same reply. I had told my wife the same way about 4-5 years ago. I can just imagine how nervous and still recall the actual shaking in my voice as I formed the same words you have posted.

My wife is not totally supportive of my need to indulge my female ego, however she is open minded enough to understand my need to be jenny. We have been married 37 years and plan on another 37.

I know you now feel like a huge weight has been lifted from your mind. I think we can be thankful we have such wonderful partners!

[SamanthaS]

Glad to hear your "Out", LOL. Now comes the part where you start buying more clothes

[Fran Moore]

Very well done Jennifer, I bet your back and knees feel so much better! We never know how this conversation is going to be received, but sounds like your outcome was very positive. When we had the "talk" over twenty years ago, it did not go nearly as well, and after several years of "turmoil" it finally faded into a "don't ask, don't tell" situation, which is not ideal, but much better than total deception. Every woman is different in how they view this issue, and ultimately deal with it. Sounds like you have a very understanding spouse, and I wish you much success going foward from this point on. Being a little "lighter in the loafers" can be such a good thing for your life in general!

Suzanne

[PretzelGirl]

Woo-Hoo! Congratulations and you did it very well. Love that lady and cherish her.

Isn't it amazing how many times someone waits a long time to tell and then finds out they already knew? We are not slick it seems.

[Amanda22]

Jennifer, congratulations for the way you gently and lovingly had this conversation. You obviously crafted your disclosure very carefully to represent the true nature of how you feel. I don't think this could have gone any better and I know how you're feeling right now. To be in a relationship with no secrets is absolutely the best. I'll send you a PM in a minute. Way to go!!

[Debglam]

Yay Jennifer! That is great news and I wish the best to you and your spouse! I said a lot of the same things when I came out but I guess because a lot of our stories are the same. One piece of advice I'd add to anyone else out there thinking of having "the talk" with your wife is TIMING! Find a time when your SO is not stressed out or distracted and when she can basically take the blow of what you are saying and have time to absorb it.

[Sandra]

I am so relieved. 100 ton weight gone.

Just don't put that 100 ton weight in her shoulders. By that I mean don't go to quick and wanting to do everything now, take things at her pace and continue to communicate

[Inna]

Oh boy, so now it really starts! Truth is liberating, isn't it. Its like letting a little girl peak through a keyhole to discover a new wonderful world beyond the doors, now she wants the key

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenn That was a great story something like mine at first we talked about it than acceptance then rejection
and now she tollerates it but it's a don't ask don't tell kinda thinggie. Allthough all my things are in our closets
and my dresser drawers I don't have to hide anything.

Orchid

[JamieG]

I am to hear that things have gone well for you. I wish you and your wife much continued happiness.

[Di]

Very happy for you BOTH!

[CareBearGG]

Congratulations!! I'm sure a burden has been lifted off the both of you. I believe MOST women can sense when their husband is trying to hide something and finding out that its not another woman, or something along those lines, has got to bring such a sense of relief. I'm glad that you no longer have to hide your true self.

[Lorileah]

they know, they just wait for us to own up.

[Phoebe P.]

Congratulations!! I'm sure a burden has been lifted off the both of you. I believe MOST women can sense when their husband is trying to hide something and finding out that its not another woman, or something along those lines, has got to bring such a sense of relief. I'm glad that you no longer have to hide your true self.

WOW! That is an amazingly good point that I NEVER thought of! I can't believe I didn't think of that as I'm rather OCD. I know now my wife doesn't think I'm cheating!

[Sully]

Yeah, my wife loves it too!!! :-)

//Sully

[kimdl93]

they know, they just wait for us to own up.

So true. Mary M's wife said it well: "we're not as clever as we think".

[AmyGG]

Hi

Well done for taking such a hard step and what a lovely wife you must have. I found out about my husband's CDing about 8 months ago (weve been married for nearly 10 yrs) and I didn't take it too well, all of the usual questions popped into my head - is he gay, does he want a sex change, is he going to leave me etc, but after some soul searching I knew I loved him with all my heart even this new side of him but like your wife, there are boundaries where his female persona does not go and does not do. Although he dresses in male mode when we go out its like having a girlfriend shopping with me. It must have been such a relief for your wife to have these answers from you after knowing something was up. Give her a hug from me and ask if she would like to join the forum for support from other SOs.

Hope everything carries on OK.

All the best.

AmyGG

[Kitty Sue]

Wow that is a great story. Thanks for sharing.

[Jenniferathome]

Hi all, I wanted to offer up an update to my "story" now that it has been about 4 weeks since I told her. As a brief history, I had been hiding my cross dressing for all of our relationship together, more than 25 years total and 20+ of those married. While I nearly had a heart attack upon telling her, it went fantastically and she has been fantastic every day since. Her only concern was that I might want to transition to a woman and when I assured her that I was a cross dresser only, she was completely happy. Today, she even tried on a few of my dresses and said she she'd like to borrow one in particular. She also told me it was fine if I wanted to wear them around the house while she was home! She is even helping me choose outfits while shopping on line. So things are great beyond my wildest dreams but the reason I am relating this now is because of a conversation we had about why she accepts me and advice I had given to all here. I told her that some wives are not at all accepting and even worse. She really couldn't believe it because as she said," I love you so it just doesn't matter. The only thing I can think is that if someone's relationship is already difficult, this could offer a "reason" to get out."

So my message is this: truth is always better. After coming out to my wife, every day is great. The caveat is if you think your relationship is strained, you need to fix that before you tell. I do not think cross dressing is the cause of relationship issues. I think relationship issues cause intolerance of our cross dressing. Dig deep, address your relationship. When that is on solid footing, come clean. You'll be happy. Best wishes to all.

[CareBearGG]

Congratulations on telling your wife! I'm glad things went so well.

Her only concern was that I might want to transition to a woman .

I'm pretty sure this is a concern/worry/quetion all SOs have when they find out about the CDing.

[darla_g]

Great news on all of this. You probably don't want to push it too much right now.