It seems that would make sense Michelle for sure. I'm not transitioning, but since beginning of the year have been going to support group meetings, shopping once enfemme, and out to 2 clubs. I guess I'm heading the other way at the moment!
But it makes total sense from the direction you're heading in....
There is a difference when you say that your own personal growth as a crossdresser is leading you somewhere vs saying you understand why ts people "leave the community" ..or that you have negative feelings towards us..or that we somehow divide the "community" when we chose to move on become ourselves..
people that transition universally learn how different crossdressing is vs living day to day in a female role..
it's hard to debate this point because unless you go through it, its not something you can easily speak to..
although i'm sure michelle you didn't mean it this way, it feels terrible to me when you say you understand why the ts person leaves and that it causes negative feelings..
I don't think you understand at all ..you would not say anything negative about it if you did...
its not comparable to your growth as a crossdresser (which is very positive and wonderful thing btw).
Transition is permanent and total. There is no dual nature, no transgender feeling, no FUN(as it relates to dressing)....
we risk our health and our lives, we endure physical pain, we hurt the people we love the most and we sever the past, and in many cases leave everything behind to rebuild a better life..
There is an obvious similarity in that we need to learn femaleness just like crossdressers, we are both shunned by the majority of society, and for me anyway, i spent alot of time thinking of myself as a crossdresser and having alot of fun..but for the ts it's a phase (that many ts people never have btw).
Lay off the ts women that "leave the community"...begrudging moving on just highlights how little you really know about what transition means to the transsexual person.
I am not begrudging them in any way. I am very happy for them. I feel like they are achieving their goal of being a true woman and the TG community ties them to their past. That past is something which interferes with their acceptance in the world.Originally Posted by Kaitlyn Michele
I had a TS woman tell me once that it is the duty of every person to tell those behind her about their experiences in the hope that the ones behind them will have it easier than they did. I think we as cd'er must do the same thing.
Michelle
your op said more than what you are saying now..
you said
"I always thought badly towards the TS girls after they transition and disappear from the community. Now I am beginning to understand since I am feeling that same feeling. While my feelings are those of just a cd'er, I see the simularities."
I'm saying that the similarities are superficial. I'm saying it's not the same feeling...
it's a false and damaging narrative to say that ts people somehow owe "the community"
the costs of transition are so high in every way, it's an unrealistic burden to owe anybody anything.
why does anyone assume that ts women don't tell those behind us about our experiences??
every transsexual person i know quietly advises other transsexuals on important matters around transition..
there comes a point for most where the endgame is to disappear, but don;t underestimate everything that's done prior to help prior to that...
and even those that are "deep stealth..what a term!" often communicate and help others like secret spies..
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