I understand now why TS disappear after transitioning

[ReineD]

Maybe i should have worded it differently. I don't understand whay a man who "clearly states" that he has no desire to be a woman.. wears women's clothing.

You and I have talked about this in the past, and I can understand that as a woman who is solidly at one end of the binary gender paradigm, it's difficult for you to understand not being either one or the other, or in other words, being both. Until I became involved with this community, specifically my SO, I didn't understand it either.

It has been my experience that almost every cd.ts.tg person that I have ever met can't seem to get over the fact that they are (insert label). Their lives, their livelyhoods and their focus seems to be all about being transgender. Granted, we all have to start somewhere, but how long must we stay in limbo?

The thing is, a TS has a definite goal, which is to move from one end of the gender binary to the other, in her appearance and as she is seen and accepted by others. It's bound to be uncomfortable during the process especially if she begins later in life and it makes sense that during this time her life would revolve around transition issues. But, there is an end in sight for her, hopefully.

There are other individuals who are neither male nor female: a third gender so to speak, which is a combination of both. The goal is not to become permanently female, but to learn to live happily with both genders that sometimes conflict, in a world that will only accept one or the other.

I think it is even more difficult for someone who is not happy being purely a man, and who doesn't see herself eradicating her male gender entirely, to reach inner balance and peace. And I do think that most CDs fall somewhere in there. It's got to be confusing! Just imagine having to live a life perched on top of a fence because this is where your true gender lies, while people on each side are trying to pull you off to their side because they don't understand that a valid solution for the CDs/TGs is to try to make a life up there. So is it any surprise that living like this seems to take up so much energy? These TGs are not stuck in denial because they are fearful of transition. Rather, the geometric plane which is formed by each side of the fence needs to expand to a three dimensional space where there is ample room for those sitting on top of the fence who feel they belong there.

OK ... I'm not TG and I can't say that what I've described is accurate, but it is the best understanding I have of the situation.