Saying something to "THE ONE" about your crossdressing before you commit to marriage looks good on paper, but I'm willing to bet it ends in disaster most of the time. Sure there will be that 0-5% that will be accepting, if you're lucky enough to find her but I bet most will push you away like you've got leprosy and they are likely to warn others of your "perversion". Besides, like many posters here that are from my generation say it, I thought it would go away or lessen once we had a steady relationship/got older. It was something I did, not something I was. Now I know I was wrong. It only got stronger and more involved. Unfortunately, that knowledge is too little too late. I'm in a relationship now, with children. I can't stop being what I am, but I must protect my family from the truth so a secret it must stay. It sucks, but that's my lot in life. The security of my marriage/relationship, the opinions of my children and their peers mean more to me than a clear conscience.

Lying is bad if it is self serving and malicious. My lie is neither. I hate lying, but this is my truth. Shame on me? Hate me for being a liar? Whatever. If you are in an accepting relationship where there is that kind of wiggle room for the real truth, good for you. I'm happy for you and maybe even a little envious. I'm willing to bet that for the majority of us this is not the case. To try to convince anyone here that revealing all is the best thing is both fool hearty and dangerous. We are all anonymous here, how can any of us know what's best for our families if we don't even know our real names?

Right or wrong, my decision doesn't mean I have no conscience nor does it make me a monster. I'm just a protective father and husband that thinks he's doing the right thing. If I get caught, well then I'll have to play those cards if and when it happens. I'm praying it never does, though I think she suspects anyway.


Ginger