What being a TS is NOT

[Katesback]

I concur with this. As I have said before once you have SRS transition really begins. Anything before is with training wheels. Perhaps thats why I say SRS has to be a desire for someone to actually be transsexual. I submit to you that if Bree were to become single her focal point on SRS would change. The only thing placating her desire at this time is the circumstances she has going on in her life at the moment.

I realize that many of you get all defensive when someone says something you dont like. The problem is that in the real world you rarely hear people say things you want to hear. On the contrary you are faced with comments that you do not want to hear. That girls is why I am the way I am. I have transpired the real world into the fantasy world of this forum. If you are to be successful you should be able to take comments you dont like and digest them and perhaps come to realize the comment is the truth and realistic.

So back to the person that appears as a woman but wants to keep thier penis. For this person to say they are transsexual is a slap across the face of someone who is actually transsexual or a woman for that matter. It would be like someone saying that because drag queens fit into the transgender relm they are the same as a transsexual. I have news for you I am not drag queen! I am not like the person that looks like a woman but wants to have a penis! I am a woman and women do not willfully have penises!

This does not mean that I look down upon other people that are not like me, but when they suggest that they actually are like me I say hell no. I went through the process that few have and I stand here and say if your not willing to follow through with the transition process then you are not like me, you are not transsexual, and you are not a woman because women don't have penises.

Katie

I was ambivalent about my penis... it was just something on the list...i was much more interested in ffs and being accepted as female..

i recall having a dream about walking down the street and all my clothes fell off, and everyone stared at me with a penis..!!! yikes!!
and i recall being reminded every day of course that i had a penis...i remember trudging off to srs, not excited, more determined...

what i learned, and have been sharing, is that getting the surgery was a transcendant thing..it changed everything...it changed everything in a way i had not anticipated..it didn't make me happy after the initial euphoria...
it just ended my feeling of otherness.... i thought i was doing find with my penis, but what i didn't realize was that i could feel "cisgendered"... i am much more about sharing this thing i learned than excluding people...i learned from this that my internal fear that i was not transsexual, that i was making a huge mistake was eliminated through srs...through gender "confirmation" surgery..

this is where i get my data... this isn't what's in my head..it's what happened..it's important to me to share my experience... i learned from it...
saying you are better off keeping is not wanting it and

i am sorry if someone feels hurt or excluded by something i say...perhaps it is true that some people do not need that confirmation..however to not even desire it in any way does not compute with me..

To one of your points Bree we are different in an important way...
i never ever ever felt "connected" with someone with my penis...does that make sense? i could have sex, i could get off, i could please someone, but it never felt like a connection..ever
after having sex as a woman, i can't say i was in love with anyone, but the sex was connected, and it was me and i didn't feel like a fraud in bed..i felt satisfied and connected

i think there is a ton of rationalization in many of the people that are transtioning about surgery/passing/ffs/srs... people that don't do these things for whatever reason are forever going to convince people that had these things that they are ts too..
i think in the end almost every person here that has posted is what we would all call "ts"... i'm sure there are some talkers and fakers...but fear, guilt, shame, money, need for love, shamex2, depression all impact us deeply in our shared experience, and it messes with your mind...