hey, how are my gay male crossdressers doing?

[maya1love]

Hi Barbara: Thanks for agreeing to repost your question here! Well, I thought hard about the question you were asking. If you are feeling that yearning to be in a loving gay male relationship, there is no reason why that is not possible. If you want to be in a loving relationship with a gay guy where he is tolerant and accepting of your dressing, that is also possible. Whoever has told you that no gay guy would ever want to be in a relationship with you if they knew that you are a crossdresser is completely wrong. But, first you must make a decision about who you wish to be in your life -- do you realistically see yourself as someone who is most comfortable being identified as a gay man and who crossdresses in private (or public) from time to time, or do you see yourself living half the time as a man and half as a woman, or living full-time as a woman? If your ideal is to be one half of a gay male couple (like the couple you saw at Home Depot), then you must start meeting gay men as a man, and going to gay events and going on dates with gay men. I can assure you that you will find at least one gay man who will think that you are absolutely fantastic and will nurture your crossdressing and femininity because he is so "into you" and just wants you to be happy.

As I have personally experienced myself (and I will share below), there are definitely gay men who would enjoy, or at least be tolerant of, having a partner who dresses from time to time, but they don't actively seek out a crossdresser as a partner (just like most "quality" straight women do not seek out crossdressers as husbands but some of them eventually grow to love that aspect of their husbands). You will need to decide who you want to be the majority of the time -- a man or woman, and then market yourself to that community. Go on dates, attend events, and be out there. That's the best way to meet quality men. I mean "quality" only in the sense that meeting people in your own community and in your own friends circles will be the ones who have things in common with you and are the best candidates to be in a long term relationship with.

I think that many of the ladies here find themselves on the receiving end of romantic attention from online t-admirers. It is so flattering, but such a grand illusion. The problem is that you can't really build a relationship (if that is what you are truly seeking) simply because you are a part time t-girl and he is a t-admirer and he likes your online profile. That isn't who you are most of the time, right? Many of us look like pretty regular guys most of the time! ha ha! So, my advice is that even though it is tempting to reply to the gestures of a t-admirer, it isn't practical, except for casual sex -- he's not likely to stick around to love all of you because he is attracted to you as a t-girl only, and if he does, he may not have enough in common with you to spend a Sunday afternoon at Home Depot! If you spend 10-15% of your time dressed as a woman, then you can expect to find a t-girl admirer who will be with you 10-15% of the time as well. I think it is a big mistake to expect a t-admirer to grow to love your male side and to fully accept you. These cases do exist, but they are few and far between. How many straight crossdressers married women who actively sought them out as crossdressers?

Almost at the end of my sermon, I promise... Okay, so, I may have my first boyfriend. (And I am 38 years old, BTW.) I mentioned him in an earlier post as a gay guy who was interested in me and who I eventually told that I dressed. We were set up on a blind date by a mutual friend, and went out as two men on the date. Even though I turned him down because I wasn't attracted to him, he has pursued me and ... he seems to have won me over. Very nice guy. He even bought me lingerie for my birthday recently! So, he's fine with the dressing. My dressing is just a small part of our time together and our conversation. This dating is very new, so I will keep you all posted about us!