With any of the four, did you start by discussing her approach to people who do not conform to society's norms? Followed maybe by finding out what she thinks of people who dress differently? Or perhaps discuss how TV & films portray cross-dressing and/or transgender characters? Only going on to share your secret once you had positive vibes from all of the foregoing, or did you just blurt it out perhaps in the middle of an argument?
Someone else a few months ago was putting up objections similar to yours. When pressed, his suggestion was to blurt out at the start of a first date "Hi my name is xxx and I have a disgusting habit" - I don't think that approach is designed to engender trust or a positive response.