Hi Willow
An optimistic approach to life generally leads to happiness and fulfillment. Think about the positives in your life, and they will help your to overcome the negatives. Crossdressing is an extremely therapeutic form of expression. It allows our own inner being to come to the forefront, and pushes other people's and society's expectations of what we should be and what we should do, into the background of our thoughts. We are taught, as young boys and men, to be extremely inhibited about self-expression, and crossdressing assists us in overcoming that inhibition. And the best part is that this form of therapy causes us no harm, and does not hurt anyone else.
You have an advantage that many of us older geezers didn't have. I am 72 and grew up thinking that there was nobody else like me. There were no signs of others being crossdressers, no internet to tell our stories, and only vague references to a small handful of wierdos who wore women's clothing for perverted reasons. You are able to be out to your friend and her mother which is a tremendous plus, and they seem willing to help in your journey.
Deb Weller has written an excellent post about showing empathy to others. Your friend and her mother are aware of your difficulties and are taking a positive approach to understanding and helping you overcome them. Others, including your mother, are going through their own personal struggles as well, and the best approach is to follow the example of your two friends. Show others that you care for them, want to understand them and are willing to help them, and the good vibes you receive overpower the negativity of your own dilemmas. I know it is difficult to suddenly turn things around in this way, but you start slowly and by doing little things, like listening, doing small favours and so on, and you begin to feel good about yourself.
Crossdressing, and writing about it on forums like this, are extremely healthy ways to get negativity out of your mind. Read about others adventures, and difficulties, and use the advice and knowledge you gain to help you formulate your own approach to life in general and crossdressing or transitioning (if that is your desire) specifically. You like to draw? Then do so as often as time permits, and show your work to others. Don't be overly concerned about your writing abilities. They have shown signs of improvement even on this thread. The more you write, the more proficient you will become. I provided some suggestions, not for you to obsess over them, but just as something to keep in the back of your mind when you are writing. Don't be apologetic about your writing or any other perceived shortcoming. That is negativity. Think positively.
Finally, by coming across with a positive personality, you endear yourself to others. People, as a rule, are turned off by our negativity, and it takes a positive sympathetic, and empathic person like yourself to bring out the positivity in others.
Keep writing, and I look forward to reading more of your adventures.
Veronica