Quote Originally Posted by Badtranny View Post
The internal battle most of us face isn't about the transition at all. It's about the acceptance of something that has haunted us since we were old enough to have a thought. I'll bet you that 90% of the trans people on here will say that once they finally got to the end of their rope, transition was a foregone conclusion. After that it was just means and methods. You have either not yet reached the end of your rope or you are not really a trans person.
Yes, you are quite correct: I am not at the end of my rope and I don't know if I am transsexual, but I am certainly transgender. I have transitioned to the degree I have because I have needed to in the present day.

I did not feel the same way in childhood: I was sure then that I was male ("innate sense of identity") -- but I did wonder why the other males had to be so strange.

I have been on hold recently, not needing to go further during that time, but I can tell it is creeping up on me. It was 15 months ago that I started HRT, which dampened my dysphoria considerably, and I have been adjusting and processing with the new brain chemistry.

By coincidence my workplace has been very very stressful during most of my time on HRT, quite hard on everyone. I find out today if my job is definitely gone or is provisionally gone or will continue. When contemplating life after my present job, I realized that I have accepted that I will be going further, but the form and timing of that "further" are still open. I am not at the end of my rope yet, but my instincts are telling me that I will need to change more.

Quote Originally Posted by Badtranny View Post
You are clearly very bright, but this is NOT an issue to be solved by analysis. TS people solve this issue by looking into their hearts with wide open eyes. That's where the answer is, that's where it always is, unfortunately many of us just refuse to see it.
Yep, the story of my life: analyze, analyze, analyze, eventually come to some kind of logical conclusion, then throw away the logical conclusion and act on my heart. My regular (non-gender) therapist has been remarking on this topic.