Hi Mandy,

Thanks for this wonderful and enlightening post.Having been a CD for the past 37 years, I asked myself that question more than once. But fortunately I discovered that it wasn't sex from a man I wanted, it was acceptance of my "feminine" side and "being treated like a lady". Our society has been so overly sexualized that we blur the lines between intimacy and physicality. I found that what I really wanted was to be loved, not made love to.

I have had sexual relations with men both drab (first) and dressed. I as well discovered that there was absolutely NO difference in the experience for me. The sex was almost identical. My being dressed I discovered, wasn't for my benefit, but more for the man that was rationalizing his homosexuality by having sex with a "dude in a dress". If you are bisexual or homosexual, your outer appearance has no bearing in your sexuality.

In contrast, I have been married 3 times. My first wife and I used to dress together in matching lingerie (unfortunately our dressing never progressed beyond that) and it was a warm and loving relationship. She passed away, and my second wife also knew about my dressing, but would not acknowledge or participate in it. She was bisexual, and decided that she preferred to be with a GG and not a CD so we divorced after 11 years.

My current wife does not know about "Dee". She is legally blind and in 2009 I almost lost her due to some psychological and medication related issues. Due to her dual diagnosis and mental state, it isn't beneficial to her condition for me to "come out" to her. So Dee remains in the closet. Her psychological state and mental health is more important to me.

We moved from the mid west to southwest Louisiana last year. I had a GG girlfriend who I dressed with in Arkansas. I had the "best of both worlds" and wasn't Hanna Montana, LoL. But she wound up getting a boyfriend and our play stopped. So I purged and lost everything again. So here I am, once again a "broke azzed girl" who doesn't even have a pair of heels or panties.

I found an ad for a "CD" on Craigslist (yes I know that was stupid) and I agreed to meet with her. When I got there, I found a "dude in a dress" who only had 1 dress, a Party City wig, no makeup, gaudy lipstick, fishnet stockings he had "made crotch-less" and nothing else. He didn't even have a fem name. I was so disappointed. I was looking for a CD GF and he was a gay guy in a dress.

Sorry I rambled, and thanks for letting me vent. Love you all.