Quote Originally Posted by outhiking View Post
My wife knows, but prefers "not to know". I keep it in the house and that's OK with me as it is a private thing. But, I do wish she could talk about it. I figure the burden's on me since I was not up front about this when we got married and so she didn't sign up for it.
I used to subscribe to that line of thinking but have changed my mind. No she didn't sign up for it, but if you won the Multi-state lottery, she didn't sign up for that either, but would gladly accept it, wouldn't she? We sign up for what we sign up for--that's the "for better or worse" part of the vows, isn't it? Maybe you didn't sign up for "rejection" either. It is a two-way street. It is a part of the individual's personality that comes out over the duration or it is there and waits to be revealed. The basic human being is there flaws and all. That is what we accept when we say "I do". So if you want to bring in trust issues, then one could say that the husband has a right to "lose trust" because now he is NOT accepted ":for better or worse." well, just a thought.