So, we all know that many CDers fantasize about having sex with men. Some are genuinely gay or bi (in which case being dressed or not wouldn't affect anything), and some are hetero. For the hetero CDers, it is the fantasy of "being" a sexually pleasing woman with a vagina who is desired by the owner of a penis that does the trick, however in real life all the other things the penis owner has is a turn-off. But in the meantime, the fantasy sure is a lot of fun.

I used to think that hetero CDers who want men only while dressed and who therefore question their sexual orientation, should just go ahead and have sex with men to determine whether they are turned off or not. I felt as if this would bring their fantasies in line with reality, and if they were married it might help them appreciate their wives more. Or if they were single, it might help them get off on the women they say they want to be with because they DO feel an emotional bond with women and not men.

But, now I wonder if these CDers don't want to or cannot give up the fantasy, even if they know they are turned off by men in the harsh light of reality. This does indicate they might have their very own sexual orientation, which is to themselves as women. The word for this is autogynephilia. Actual sex with real men turns them off and they don't feel sexual passion for hetero women (in the same way as the passion that comes with fantasizing about being a woman with a vagina who pleases a man). They're kinda stuck in a twilight zone of sexual desire.

I don't know whether autogynephilia is a fetish or it's own brand of sexual attraction. The thing is, that it makes it difficult for an autogynephile to experience the ultimate in connectedness with someone else since they can't experience both the deep emotional AND physical bond that raises that relationship above the rest. The physical bond (truly being into someone for who they are and reaching sexual climax because of it) is missing.

But, maybe my analysis is skewed because I can only look at it from a GG's point of view. Or, maybe there is a true attraction to men, but some CDers have been so severely socialized to not be gay that it is difficult to reach the core truth. Or, maybe some of these CDers are truly TS and it is not about a love of themselves as women (AGP), but they instead experience a woman's natural sexual desires, except they just don't want to go there. It's really complex, isn't it.