If what you are doing isn't working out you might try changing.
Most of my friends today are people I met and developed relationships with as a woman. I had spent a lot of time in bars and shopping etc.. That was well and good for being out. But soon after I began feeling very lonely. I had posted about it asking for advice. ReineD suggested that I do some volunteering as Daphne.
I took her advice and as usual she was right. I volunteered at lgbt center and started meeting people. I joined a progressive church in Brooklyn etc... When I got away from the bar and club scene and spent that time with people I began to see over and over again, friendships began to form.
So you might try taking in a lecture series at a museum, perhaps an art class or something like that.
You had mentioned that you don't know why you do what you do. Well neither do I, but before I was able share Daphne on a deep and true meaningful level. I had to find out who she was and is. That takes time spent as your girl self interacting with other people.
And as others have said loose the chip on your shoulder. What is simply is. I am trans I didn't ask for it, I didn't want it, and fought like hell against it. In many ways it is a real lousy hand to be dealt. I can't be mad if women don't find me attractive, I can't hate teenagers who point and laugh. because if I let all of that get to me, I wouldn't have been able to make friends of any kind in the first place.
I can come across as bitchy and judgmental, if I do I am sorry, but I wanted to add that I get why you are bitter and lonely, I have been there and I understand. It is not an easy place to be. I also think you are pretty courageous and open and honest. I am not judging you, just offering some ideas, things that have worked for me.
