Erica, perhaps I didn't make myself totally clear in my last post, and for that I apologize. What I was really driving at was that "That was then; this is now".

Yes, perhaps mistakes might have been made by both parties when they initially stumbled into their DADT mode years ago, and when they approached the crossdressing dilemma the best way they could to reach a reasonable accommodation between the two of them that might have worked back then with the limited information available about it at the time.

But situations change, and people should be prepared to change with them. Time was, everybody smoked and it was a normal part of life. Now we know that smoking can kill you, and today those who still smoke are for all intents and purposes treated as though they were lepers. DDT was once the insecticide of choice; now it is banned. Any fans of Agent Orange out there anymore? See asbestos used much these days, when once it was a favored building material? My point being - new information becomes available, and sometimes we need to make a 180 degree shift in past perceptions to adjust to the new reality.

And if society now has a far different - and a far more understanding and tolerant - view of transgenderism in general and crossdressing in particular, is it so unreasonable for us to expect our DADT wives and SO's to get on board and maybe - just maybe - come to accept that it might not be the vile and degenerate practice that they once thought it was?

And for the record - if I had to do it all over again, I would definitely have told my wife about my crossdressing before we got married. That would certainly have made our lives considerably less complicated. But I would also have come armed with the best information I could as to what crossdressing was - and wasn't - so that she could at least have made an informed decision as to which way she wanted to proceed. Unfortunately, that information wasn't available at the time the way it is now...