Sometimes situations do not lend themselves to negotiations. It takes many years to establish a marriage that will survive cross dressing or any other activity one spouse perceives in a negative way. I know my wife does not approve of cross dressing. Years ago she said she wished she had never revealed her past which by all standards would really make most guys run. During the courting stage you tend to only see the positive and you only display the positives. Everyone tends to hold back on the negatives. Somethings are just DEAL BREAKERS for people. Cross dressing tends to be a deal breaker for almost all women. It violates societal norms. The women feels society will view her in a negative way. There must be something wrong or kinky with her to tolerate it. She is a victim by guilt by association. So, is DADT a bad situation, as long as husband and wife agree to it, implicitly or by the 'ostrich' effect? If you have read my postings over the year or two, I firmly believe husband and wife should set boundaries they both are comfortable with.
My view of terminating the marriage is applicable to situations where an ultimatum is made. To make a person give up who they are is wrong. If the wife wants to watch you take your femme stuff to the burn barrel and watch it burn, then, is that a marriage. I do NOT limit my beliefs to ultimatums about cross dressing. I really detest men who demand compliance from their wives to do nothing but produce offspring, keep the home, and be a 'possession.' Sometimes people just 'wake up and smell the coffee' later than some.
Anyway, given an ultimatum on any issue is wrong. So my recommendation to take the highway still stands.
Originally Posted by Erica2Sweet
