Trying to accept that I am a transsexual

[sandra-leigh]

Reine, I appreciate your concern for Angie and me. Maybe I am wrong but my understanding of the difference between being a crossdresser and being transsexual is having GID. I was under the impression, from reading here and other places, that you were transsexual whether or not you had taken any physical steps (HRT etc.) if you felt that your outsides and insides didn’t match.

Not exactly.

I am for sure beyond being a crossdresser, and I have GID for sure, but it is not clear that I am transsexual. In order to be transsexual, I (biologically male-ish) would have to identify as being female, which I don't quite do. I identify as being "not male", and on the "female" side of center, but being sure that you are female is not the same as feeling that you are not male.

To use a weak analogy: you might have grown up an Arizona Cardinals (NFL) fan, when a lot of people around you are San Diego Chargers (NFL) fans, and later in life you might find you like a bunch of aspects of the San Diego team, but if it comes to the point where you realize that you are no longer a Cardinals fan, it doesn't mean that you are necessarily committed to the Chargers instead. Getting rid of your Cardinals seasons ticket doesn't mean your only choice is to buy a Chargers seasons ticket: you might be one of the people who favors the Chargers but can get along living in-between clubs.

I am certainly not saying that you are one of the people who lives in-between: your statement about having always wanting to be a woman would seem to make that possibility unlikely. I am just clarifying that there is a difference between having GID and being Transsexual. Indeed if you read this section, you will find a recent post (last few weeks) in which one woman said that she never had GID, that she always knew she was female and had always been comfortable with that, with the surgery merely fixing a biological mistake.

Steph, you are perfectly correct. GID shows at very early ages well before puberty.

I know that happens often; I am not sure whether it is always the case. I have read postings here from people who say they had no idea until later in life. I know that I did not know until later in life. When I was a child, I knew I was a boy and didn't doubt that: I just wondered why the other boys were acting odd.