But of a conundrum ...

[ReineD]

They're either too flaky and want it now (random hook-ups I guess you'd call them) or they're more interested in her. I'm not interested in some random hook-up, nor someone on from a dating site pretending to be interested in me hooking up with her.

3. We don't have an open marriage. There is no "open" marriage. As someone stated before once you hit that arrangement your roommates and little else. Obviously why I have a problem "playing" without her present as that has never been the case ever before, and very likely will not be the case in the future.

So you're into threesomes rather than each of you having separate lovers. One word of advice: please make sure that she wants the threesome as much as you do. If in the past you've been the instigator more than her, you don't want your wife to go along with it just because she want to keep her husband.

Also, if the agreement between you is threesomes, then stop toying with the idea of sleeping with someone at the club you describe, no matter how appealing it seems, no matter how much you believe you have her permission (when your gut feeling is telling you otherwise), to the point where you buy an outfit for the evening and actually step out the door.

I'm glad that you and your wife had a discussion last night after you made your original post and she clarified her position to you. I recommend that you bookmark this thread for future reference, when and if the urge to go there manifests itself again.