Crossdressing and male attraction

[RADER]

Wow!!! what a thread;
I have read most, and I guess I am one of the few that when either male, or CD mode,
I go for a real Female. The thought of having a sexual relationship with another man
just turns my stomach. I love girls, and if I had transitions to a girl I guess I would be a lesbian.
I am one of the few who just like wearing girl clothes, very much in the closet, And happy that
my wife is OK with my dressing.
Rader

[cdkrista420]

Autogynaphilia. Yes, this is me too. I completely understand what others have said, and it is so nice to know I am not alone in this, and its nice to know it has a name. I have also found that when I am in love, I don't think about crossdressing. I am satisfied, so I think it has something to do with having someone that you love and cares for you, and for whom you also care for equally. I've found that when I am distressed, such as losing someone who I am in love with, the desire to cross dress, along with its associated fantasises arise.

i think i could pretty much agree with a million of these posts, but this one seems to get me...when i'm in a relationship, i don't think about it. I still only lust after women, but more and more I'm interested in playing with a guy as krista

[ReginaC]

Such an interesting thread. As for me, I've always been attracted to women and for the most part find men repulsive. However, I've fantasized about being with a guy and having sex with him while being en femme. I don't fantasize about a relationship and love and that. I just have a fantasy about having sex with a guy, and knowing how it feels to be penetrated by a real person (as oppposed to a toy). I want to know how it feels to be pampered, to wear the sexiest lingerie and to be told how sexy I look, have him do things to me and me doing things to him while unleashing my feminine side.

I don't know where would that lead, in terms of sexual identity. Right now, I consider myself a heterosexual that just wants to know what it feels like to have somebody inside of me. It may change my views in the future, or it may not.

[Kelly Smith]

... Since at least my early twenties I have had fantasies about being with a man. The thing is these fantasies were of me dressed as a woman. I don't look at men sexually in day to day life. When I think of two men together it's a turn off. But when dressed I feel differently about it...

So when I did start recently take up crossdressing seriously I felt I had to try to be with a guy. Some things I enjoyed and somethings I didn't. I have tried kissing the only two men I have been with and talk about a weird feeling. Absolutely nothing chemistry wise at all. Actually I found it unpleasant (icky) and it felt nothing like I feel when I kiss a GG.

This is confusing to me because there is a certain body part GG's don't have I found I do very much like. Like I said I'm not sure I can even consider myself bisexual because there is only one part of a man that turns me on and nothing else sexually(kiss, touch) about them does. Now being dressed and pretending to be a woman with a man is very exciting to me and I can't help to confess I liked it.

I know some crossdressers do not want to be with men at all. But how many of you are like me who feel the need to or like the idea of being with men although you are not turned on by the men per se, just some of the things you can do with one?....

I am replying to your question without reading the other responses.

Guy on guy sex does absolutely nothing for me. But, like you, that body part interests me as well. I intend to make myself look and feel as feminine as possible then experience sex as a woman. I may really like it. Who knows?

[AlyssaE12]

Toni, I totally know how you feel, I too have started being a more 'serious' tgirl after years of dressing on and off and I know what the feeling is like to want to be with a man to 'complete' the deal. guy on guy stuff doesnt do it for my unless one is dressed and one can totally be me. I dont know quite what to do with it, I only feel that way dressed. I would consider myself bi and being single lets me explore everything out there. I know I am attracted to other tgirls primarily but I find myself more interested in men when dressed. For me, it is important to have a connection with the person, when I have kissed men(twice only) and women it has been icky if there hasnt been that connection. But it is the person not the gender, for sure, that does it for me. but it is a little confusing, being attracted to a body part in one context but not another.

[karinels]

I am one who will look at a man and notice if he is handsome or not, and may even develop a crush on one every once and a while (my neighbor is a stud, though). At the same time, when I look at girls, especially very pretty girls, I am more into their outfits and want to be them. I have been with guys. And at this time, I would have to consider myself more gay than bi. But there are a few girls every so often I do desire sexually.

[Terri6082]

I sometimes think about being with a man when dressed but it is more an expression of completing my femininity than anything else. I have fantasized about going on a date with a man or being seduced by a man or having a man buy me a drink in a bar but again I think it is because it would mean the illusion or transformation was complete. My fantasies about men when dressed are much more romantic than my sexual fantasies about women. So yea I am sometimes attracted to men when en femme but not really sure what it means.-

[Angela Campbell]

Men frighten me when I am a girl.

[whowhatwhen]

Is it just some men and the way they present themselves and or act?
To me, some men give off a scary vibe and others, well... *grin*

I have noticed that the more I open up, the more I've started to notice men and check them out.

[ArleneRaquel]

Men are now a priority in my life, especially if they dress enfemme,or are open to the subject

[Joanna Maguire]

While I am hetro I do enjoy when men treat me as if I am a woman. Gentlemen opening a door for a lady etc. Been out on dates with men. Though only when I am in the company of my wife or another CD. Several times men have tried to put their hands up my skirt. That is both enjoyable or frightening But in general I hate men. Most of my women friends are lesbians

[Erica Marie]

Ill keep this clean and short. But I fully understand your feelings. Except for me when I dress I have the need to be with another person that is dressed. I have no attraction to regular males though. I know I am bi so does that make any sense?

[GinaD]

Hey Toni,

Before I started dressing, I was crazy about girls, and never thought about boys in the same way. After I started, it was a few years until I started getting curious about what it would be like to be with a guy. I only thought that way when I was dressed though. When it did happen, it was awkward but I got into it all the way to see if I would like it. I did, but I never lost the desire for girls. I realized I wasn't attracted to the male form, but was mostly attracted to being on the "other end" of the sexual experience, almost as if living a "double life". After getting married, I still dressed but didn't stray with man or woman. It wasn't until my wife discovered by secret and left that I re-lived the experience. It held the same attraction as before. I still prefer women, but I have re-visited the other side on occasion and admit I've enjoyed it. I avoid getting to close to women now, just because I don't want to go through what has happened, and I don't ever want to hurt another one or myself like that again.

[laura.lapinski]

Hey Toni,

Before I started dressing, I was crazy about girls, and never thought about boys in the same way. After I started, it was a few years until I started getting curious about what it would be like to be with a guy. I only thought that way when I was dressed though. When it did happen, it was awkward but I got into it all the way to see if I would like it. I did, but I never lost the desire for girls. I realized I wasn't attracted to the male form, but was mostly attracted to being on the "other end" of the sexual experience, almost as if living a "double life". After getting married, I still dressed but didn't stray with man or woman. It wasn't until my wife discovered by secret and left that I re-lived the experience. It held the same attraction as before. I still prefer women, but I have re-visited the other side on occasion and admit I've enjoyed it. I avoid getting to close to women now, just because I don't want to go through what has happened, and I don't ever want to hurt another one or myself like that again.

Gina, I've never been with another man yet, but I imagine afterwards I would feel as you do. It has to be either me or him dressed in fem though to start with.

[Mistybtm]

Hey Toni,

Before I started dressing, I was crazy about girls, and never thought about boys in the same way. After I started, it was a few years until I started getting curious about what it would be like to be with a guy. I only thought that way when I was dressed though. When it did happen, it was awkward but I got into it all the way to see if I would like it. I did, but I never lost the desire for girls. I realized I wasn't attracted to the male form, but was mostly attracted to being on the "other end" of the sexual experience, almost as if living a "double life". After getting married, I still dressed but didn't stray with man or woman. It wasn't until my wife discovered by secret and left that I re-lived the experience. It held the same attraction as before. I still prefer women, but I have re-visited the other side on occasion and admit I've enjoyed it. I avoid getting to close to women now, just because I don't want to go through what has happened, and I don't ever want to hurt another one or myself like that again.

I feel the same way after A failed marriage and several relationships with women I gave them up and only date men now, I still love woman but with my past I do not think I will ever be in A relationship with one again. I have been with men while dressed and also not dressed. (I preferred being dressed) I love being the receiver either way

[dallasmann]

I enjoy the attraction, but only when dressed.....or wishing I was dressed.

I am more deeply attracted to other CDs than to guys, however, and I can be with a CD (or TS) whether I'm dressed or not, so long as they ARE dressed.

[GinaD]

Hey Laura.

Yeah, it is a big step. It is easier if you take the time to know the first man you are going to be with. I knew the person I was with the first time for over a year. We were good friends before anything happened. Even now, I take my time getting to know someone first to get a vibe about them. I have no time for idiots and will not stand to be disrespected in the least. Any man who wants more than friendship from me has to prove he is kind and gentle and safe.

[Meghan]

This is a tough one.

I have been with a man while in totally male drab mode because my wife wanted to see that, but while it was happening I could only accept it by imagining that I was full on female at the time.

I think there is some desire to be physically aligned with our desired gender role. I cannot imagine a more powerful way to express one's own femininity than by attracting and being with a member of the opposite sex. Perhaps our mixed up brains can't envision that happening in male mode. In other words, it is possible that the female side of our brains cannot relate to a male being with a male, so instead of wanting to be with women sexually, it works the other way around?

Maybe we don't feel we can attract in male mode? Maybe there is a huge payback to the female self in knowing we have the power to attract male attention?

I will think about this one more as I drift off to sleep tonight. Thank you for the interesting question!

Meghan

[Victoriana]

I can relate to this topic. I know for me I didn't have any attraction towards men at all growing up while crossdressing and I still don't. When I am out I don't check out men (if I do it is for style reasons), I always look at women because they are so hot (sometimes for style reasons too). What has evolved is that I slowly began thinking about men and fantasizing what it would be like to be with one. This totally scared me at first and well, it still does somewhat. I think as I dressed more I wanted to experience more feminine things and going out with or being with a hot guy would be the ultimate feminine experience. I agree with some posts above. I question whether I am attracted to men or is it an attraction to feeling the ultimate sensation as a woman by being with a man and so I flip flop between the two. Maybe it is just the idea only. That is what I am trying to figure out in addition to so many other crossdressing things!

When I dress now (which hasn't been much) I almost always think of going out with a man and being with one while dressed. Maybe I am bi-curious, I don't know. I would definitely need to be dressed up to get to that point though. I had or maybe still have a chance to pursue a good friend of mine (another potential post) and if given the chance I think I would put myself in the situation to see if I would want to be with him or if I would pull away in reality. My worry is how does one feel after being with a man? Guilty? Depressed? Or does it open the door to wanting to date men. So many questions! What a post!!!

Victoriana

[laura.lapinski]

Hey Laura.

Yeah, it is a big step. It is easier if you take the time to know the first man you are going to be with. I knew the person I was with the first time for over a year. We were good friends before anything happened. Even now, I take my time getting to know someone first to get a vibe about them. I have no time for idiots and will not stand to be disrespected in the least. Any man who wants more than friendship from me has to prove he is kind and gentle and safe.

I am that way too. Fantasies of random, faceless sex are fine, but in real life it's more comfortable to know the person well first. It's a deeper connection and you can really open up and trust each other and share with more connection.

[ruthie801]

Hi great thread, I must admit that most of my sexual fantasies are of me as a woman with a man. The porn I like is mostly older woman with young men, of course I fantasy about me being the older woman. I am, I guess happily married to the same woman for over 30 years. She knows about “Ruth” but doesn’t approve at all. She has always been a beautiful girl and has always attracted the attention of men, but she is a good girl and as far as I know has been true to me. She has teased me about us having a threesome with another guy (which I previously posted here) but that was all it was a tease. I have worn lingerie with her and she has taken the dominant role, even wearing a toy. Fun but not the real thing.
What I don’t understand about how some of the girls ideas about sexual feelings. I mean we take so much time to present a feminine image, the more feminine and girly the better. For me the urge to consummate that feeling of being a woman is over whelming. How better than being with a man as only a real woman can be. And yet I do not find men sexually appealing when not dressed very weird.

[whowhatwhen]

I'm going to recommend again that some of you check out some *ahem* material of men by themselves.
Not two guys, not a guy with whatever else - just one man.

Pictures, movies, whatever it doesn't matter.
Do this in male mode and see how you feel, try and relax and open up.

If you're straight you probably won't get any reaction at all, but if you start feeling some reaction then that opens up further possibilities.
This may or may not help you, but for me it was a way to remove the noise and see what exactly was going on.

Are you attracted to the man himself and all that comes with him, or do you just want his penis?
Turned out for me that I was attracted to the whole package (lol) but it took a lot of opening up and breaking down walls to admit it.

So just look at half/naked men (without fap fap fap) and see what reaction you get.
In fact, half-naked is even better since it removes the penis from the equation.

[JenniferLynn0370]

I believe I like men but I'm not 100% sure yet. As I've thought about it through the years, I've realized I must have always liked men. I tried to be a man all my life but have never denied to myself the love I have for all things feminine. I finally realized that while I consciously admired ladies' fashions, I looked at men entirely differently; I thought they were hunks, cute, etc. Looking at hunks now gets me excited and I cannot "perform" in bed with my wife unless I imagine that I am the oh so passive woman and she is the hunky man. If I don't do that, nothing happens for me; it's gotten so bad that she thinks I need to see a doctor. I just haven't had the courage to tell her that I don't need a doctor...unless he is the hunk in bed about to ravage me! :-)

[Annieinheels]

Wow, this is a really informative thread. ReineD's comment early on really struck a tone with me. I've never really been attracted to men, and the serious thought of sex as a man is a serious turn off. But when I'm dressed as a woman, I want to explore and do things a woman might do. I once gave a lap dance to a GG who wanted to try something new. Her and I both enjoyed the experience, and I learned that giving a lap dance in 4 inch heels is much harder than it looks! Sometimes I even fantasize about guys, but I've never actively acted on it, or even sought out an experience with a guy. Well, there was one time in a bar where I found myself heavily flirting with a guy I just met. Nevermind that both of our SO's were also there. I didn't realize it at first, but I think I was just genuinely attracted to his personality in a weird kinda way. Or some nuerons got crossed or something.

[Victoriana]

I am still trying to figure this whole thing out. If you get excited by the thought of a man or lets say just liking men as a whole is that any indication that you may be bisexual...who knows. I know I get excited thinking of being a woman for a man and to me it is not just the penis that gets me going when I fantasize. Men!!! Ahhh. You know...I have no idea...to be continued. :P