Quote Originally Posted by StephanieJ View Post
You are all brilliant and so kind!!! Thank you so so much for the excellent advice.
Now let me add an X-Factor.

My wife's brother has been living with us for nearly a year. He is a disabled veteran who is severely obese and does not work. I've always gotten along with him but he can be a bit "weird" at times and is highly opinionated. I found out that my wife is representing herself with his advice. He's also the one trying to alienate my kids from me. He leaves loaded guns lying around the house and is often left alone with the kids. What do you think my chances are of having him removed from the home?
Whose name is on the title? Who's name is on the rent check or house payment? Does he pay rent? Is the amount he pays appropriate to the services he gets? If you pay the rent or the house is in your name, and you sign the house payments, and you are not being compensated for his share of the rent, then you have the right to expel him from the house, but I strongly recommend that you get a lawyer. You have to do it in a legal way. If he has ever pointed a weapon at you or your kids, made a verbal threat, or has acted violent to you, or if he has made statements of violence toward homosexuals or cross-dressers, then you could probably get a restraining order. If possible, get it on record, an audio recording or a video recording would be perfect. That would be enough to document not only that he is a clear and immediate threat to your safety. Don't do anything without a lawyer. She has probably been planning the divorce for several months, even a few years. If you go in half-cocked with do-it-yourself unsubstantiated accusations, you might be the one with the restraining order removing you from the home while you are court ordered to pay half after-tax income as child support.

On a side note, I'm meeting with three different attorneys next week and will select one to represent me. One is good but over priced so I'm ruling that one out. Other two are reasonable, but not quite as aggressive. One is male and the other is female. I hate to bring gender into it but I think having a female counselor might give me an advantage. Agree of disagree?
Make sure that each knows that you are transgender. Don't be snowed into thinking that you won't have to pay - make sure you understand your odds of winning, your obligations, and the lawyer's attitude toward your dressing. If the woman is a fundamentalist Christian who says, yes, if you pay me enough I can help you, then run the other way. If they start asking about how much your house is worth and how much you owe, and how much you have in your 401K, IRA, and other accounts - BEFORE deciding to represent you, thank them for their time - there are some lawyers who will litigate even when they know you have no chance of winning.