This has been some very interesting reading!

It struck a real chord with me too, when it was mentioned that maybe some CDers dress to create the perfect woman they can control etc. My H has said not exactly this, but he's hinted that he visually appreciates his female appearance as a guy would, as though he's looking at himself AS A GUY. I found this hugely confusing when he first tried to explain it, but the answers here have really helped.

My H was also a very quiet boy, shy and with low confidence. I believe he was also bullied. As a man he's none of this and is actually very charming, handsome etc, and I'm pretty sure he does realize this now! lol. But that shy boy still exists inside? He must, as he's still trying to recreate that perfect woman he maybe could never have way back then? Of course, this part is hard for a wife to hear. I still turn a head or two and really, shouldn't my presence be enough?

Confusing thing, this CD!

I have also pondered the animal theory before too. Most other species have very pretty males! Why are human women the ones wearing all this adornment? It's interesting to think that maybe we picked up the slack from when men stopped looking pretty?

Lots to ponder. And yes, some of us wives DO ponder this stuff...A LOT. Believe it or not, but on my other board that I frequent, the wives aren't all bitching and crying about their CDH's, nor are they blindly accepting. (though there are one or two who bitch and cry, lol). MOST are trying to figure out the logic, science and reason behind their partners dressing. Yes, that's right. We women discuss endlessly about what on earth our H's are doing, we share reasons, research, stories, we tear our hair out at WHY a rational man would do this, and we do this over and over again until our heads hurt. We women can be really quite focused when something is bothering us, just so you know.

So thanks again to everyone who is helping me through this. My head clears a little more everyday, even if I'm still as confused as when I started! Perhaps I'm slowly accepting there are as many answers to my questions as there are crossdressers and it's just one of life's little mysteries.

Okay, maybe I haven't accepted that yet, but I'm working on it!