Unexpected Development

[AnneB1nderful]

As I've said in several posts, I've lost a lot of weight and size in the past month and a half. Haven't done a lot to make that happen. Just cut down on calorie intake and wearing waist cincher when I can. Haven't even worked out since before Thanksgiving. Nevertheless. In October at 6"3, I weighed 215 lbs and had a 36" waist. Now, I weigh 190 with a 33" waist (uncinched). Not only that, I've dropped from 38C to 34C bra.

Anyway, I was in the grocery store in man mode and I was getting some of those weird looks. You know, the kind you get when you're "tell" outs you while in fem mode. Well, I was wondering what the heck?! The only thing I've done is lost weight and shaped my brows a little. Nothing really drastic. So, I walked by a full length mirror and had to stop. I almost didn't recognize myself. It almost looked like a woman with very short hair wearing men's clothes that were too big. I did not expect such drastic changes in such a short amount of time.

I feel healthy as ever. I feel light on my feet, like I can run a marathon, no ill effects at all. As a matter of fact, I'm 47 years old and physically feel like I'm 25 again.

Has anyone else ever had anything like this happen to them after they fully embraced
their fem persona for the first time?

[Kate Simmons]

In a manner of speaking Hon. When I'm Ericka (my club persona) I'm perpetually around 45. The energy seem to be limitless and nearly impossible for a 65 year old geezer to have. Go figure!

[Aylineira]

I'm half giggling at your story. So let me get this straight.. you were walking in male mode then stopped to look in the mirror and noticed that you looked like a girl wearing another man's clothing? That's funny stuff right there.

[Julie Denier]

I haven't experienced that exactly ... but I have lost about 70 pounds since March, and in addition to feeling a lot better, it's nice to be down to a size 22 dress from a 28

[AnneB1nderful]

I'm half giggling at your story. So let me get this straight.. you were walking in male mode then stopped to look in the mirror and noticed that you looked like a girl wearing another man's clothing? That's funny stuff right there.

Basically, yes. I was actually embarrassed. When in man mode, I don't want to look or act like a chick. When in Anne mode, I don't want to look or act like a dude. But, now I'm looking more like a chick than a dude even in man mode. I don't want to act like a girly man either. But found myself falling into feminine gesturing. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing that more frequently than I catch myself.

It may seem funny, but I'm dead serious. I feel my manhood giving up too quickly. This IS what I want, but at the same time, must consider family, emotional stability, work, economics, etc. But I don't want to slow down my feminization either. I LIKE being Anne.

[Angela Campbell]

I know exactly what you feel. I started dressing fully - wig, makeup etc - last july. I started losing weight and so far went from 265 lbs and 46 in waist to 190 lbs and a 36 in waist...I am 5' 4 in.
I can see the girl everywhere especially after a shower with no makeup or anything and wet hair combed back. It is a bit scary when I see Ellen and I am dressed as a man. The more weight I lose the more I see her. It doesn't help that I do not have much in the way of male clothes that fit anymore. I need to buy some but everytime I go to a store she takes over....

[Aylineira]

I know I love being in male mode just as much as female mode sometimes. My suggestion for you is that it sounds like what you need are new male clothes.. ones that fit on you. That may make you feel better.

[Erica Marie]

I know your feeling. At my heaviest I was 175. About 4 yrs ago I slowly started working out but the weight loss was so gradual that I didnt have the motivation to keep at it. About a year and a half ago I set my mind to it and slowly the pounds went away. Hit a few plateuas along the way but I think I finally hit my lowest. I am at 119 and fit a size 5. I started to keep my legs and under arms shaved, attempting to keep a female appearance without raising questions from anyone. So far no one has raised any questions. But I know your feeling, at times I question myself, am I acting girly, am I walking girly, when I run on the treadmill at the gym I have a feeling that my gestures and shaved legs will give me away. For me its harder because I still have not been able to get out and see the world through the eyes of Mellissa in fear of being caught. In my mind I have a girl trapped just waiting to get out.

[Sharon B.]

The more I try to lose weight the more I gain. I wish I could lose about fifty pounds and drop a few dress sizes.

[AnneB1nderful]

I know exactly what you feel. I started dressing fully - wig, makeup etc - last july. I started losing weight and so far went from 265 lbs and 46 in waist to 190 lbs and a 36 in waist...I am 5' 4 in.
I can see the girl everywhere especially after a shower with no makeup or anything and wet hair combed back. It is a bit scary when I see Ellen and I am dressed as a man. The more weight I lose the more I see her. It doesn't help that I do not have much in the way of male clothes that fit anymore. I need to buy some but everytime I go to a store she takes over....

That's amazing! Does it make you feel like you should be a woman only and not a man anymore? That feeling is getting stronger in me. I don't want to buy any men's clothes. Would rather spend $$ on Anne.

[Angela Campbell]

In truth I have always wanted to be a girl. I will never be able to go full time but I can be happy with part time if I can get my look the way I want it. Only have to lose another 50 lbs or so. I have a hard time buying anything male now, I only have 2 pair of male pants that fit - and they are getting big on me - and I have a few girl jeans I wear sometimes. At work I have to be a man but all of my shirts kind of swallow me. I have several outfits for a girl that fit though. I too feel a lot better now, and I am completely off medication for blood sugar too. I feel kind of ugly when I am a man so I only do it when I have to.

For years I didn't like my body and didn't care what I looked like so I ate, and ate and ate all I wanted. After seeing myself as a girl I decided to make me look better and take care of my body. I am hairless all over, trimmed eyebrows and lost so much weight and most of it in the right places - maybe due to a waist cincher.

[sterling12]

You dropped 25 pounds in a month and a half? That's a little too good! We normally like to see weight loss around 1-2 pounds per week, and you lost a little more than four pounds per week.

Everything may be fine, and you just lose weight fast, and yes...I know you feel OK. BUT, if you have access to a Doctor, you might want him to check that everything's normal, instead of some other medical problem. If you weight loss accelerates any faster, I would definitely be talking to The Doctor about it! You might be just fine, but you would have to cut your calories way, way, way, down to lose that quickly.

Normally if you lose more than a pound or two per week, your metabolism slows down, and the body quits losing weight, as the brain starts to believe you are starving. Perhaps you are engaging in a bit of hyperbole, and it's actually been longer than a month and a half. I am not trying to alarm you, it's just something that needs to be checked.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[LaraPeterson]

Anne, I am very encouraged by your post. I hope a lot of girls read it and take it to heart. I was CDing when I was young and thin. Years later, I found myself CDing while fat and unhealthy. So unhealthy, in fact, I was facing major heart surgery. A kind, Japanese doctor suggested that before peeling me open I try a carefully structured nutrition plan and a regular exercise program. At the time, I couldn't walk across the yard much less run any -athon.

After two years, a good program, and lots of meds (all of which I no longer require), I've lost the weight, brought down all the bad numbers, and I run marathons a couple times a year. It is nice to look good in a dress again. You ought to think about that marathon, girl. It'll just be another victory in your rite of passage. I'm pulling for you.

[AnneB1nderful]

I know your feeling. At my heaviest I was 175. About 4 yrs ago I slowly started working out but the weight loss was so gradual that I didnt have the motivation to keep at it. About a year and a half ago I set my mind to it and slowly the pounds went away. Hit a few plateuas along the way but I think I finally hit my lowest. I am at 119 and fit a size 5. I started to keep my legs and under arms shaved, attempting to keep a female appearance without raising questions from anyone. So far no one has raised any questions. But I know your feeling, at times I question myself, am I acting girly, am I walking girly, when I run on the treadmill at the gym I have a feeling that my gestures and shaved legs will give me away. For me its harder because I still have not been able to get out and see the world through the eyes of Mellissa in fear of being caught. In my mind I have a girl trapped just waiting to get out.

Mellissa,

Wow! 119?! How tall are you? If you're around 5'7 or shorter, you would have no trouble blending in. I wish I weren't so tall. It would be so much easier to blend in.

Your features appear to be very fem. So what's keeping you from sharing your beauty with the rest of the world?

Oh I get the whole fear thing. But once you get out there, that fear fades quickly by the excitement. Be bold girl. Get out there!

[Angela Campbell]

Anne and Melissa, you both look good enough to go out !

Joanie...I have lost weight before and lost 100 lbs in 5 months and did fine. I lose weight very fast around 4 to 5 lbs a week sometimes. I do go with a very low cal diet but that is planned and I am seeing a doctor regularly and she is very happy with me. I go several weeks around 600 cal a day then take a break around 1200 a day for a week or two then back down again. It is working well and yes I do get plateus but they pass. Not sure how I will get around the holidays though LOL

But I have lost 75 lbs since July.

Maybe I will see you saturday night?

[Soriya]

LOL Anne!

I can relate but not entirely. I have had the similar experiences my whole life about my ummmmmm, rear end LOL! I am the one among my three other brothers that has a butt and often have been told it's shaped like a womans! In my early 20's I remember a brother in-law coming up behind me while I was leaning on a chair and heard him say "OH SH*T! I was about to grab your rear, it looks just like my wifes until I realized it was you!!" LMAO!

I always carried my weight well and look 25 pounds lighter then I really am. In my 20's I was in the 165 at 5'8"+ and fit into most of my ex GF's clothes. She is 5'7'' and was around 125 back then.

I have been dropping weight over the last two months and am down to 185 and noticing what everyone always said about my butt so I took my measurements. This if funny..

My chest: 41"
My current waist 32-33"
Hips: 42"

LMAO!!

[Maria in heels]

Anne...thats wonderful news! you are taking care of yourself, and more importantly, paying attention to being Anne...and its starting to show! great!

[AnneB1nderful]

You dropped 25 pounds in a month and a half? That's a little too good! We normally like to see weight loss around 1-2 pounds per week, and you lost a little more than four pounds per week.

Everything may be fine, and you just lose weight fast, and yes...I know you feel OK. BUT, if you have access to a Doctor, you might want him to check that everything's normal, instead of some other medical problem. If you weight loss accelerates any faster, I would definitely be talking to The Doctor about it! You might be just fine, but you would have to cut your calories way, way, way, down to lose that quickly.

Normally if you lose more than a pound or two per week, your metabolism slows down, and the body quits losing weight, as the brain starts to believe you are starving. Perhaps you are engaging in a bit of hyperbole, and it's actually been longer than a month and a half. I am not trying to alarm you, it's just something that needs to be checked.

Peace and Love, Joanie

Joanie,
Thanks for your comments and concern. I am under a doc's care. Most of the drastic weight loss occurred right after my last appointment. Once I realized how much made another appointment for next week. Plan to talk about gender dysphoria also. Perhaps get referral for therapist.

I considered hyperbole also. I started a picture and video journal same time I decided to embrace fem side. Can definitely notice difference.

Regardless the cause or the belief, I want to ensure I'm physically and mentally strong. So, I can't keep these feelings, physical changes, and behavior hidden from my medical caregivers.

Again, I really appreciate you taking the time to post your thoughts and recommendations.

Hugs

[suchacutie]

I've dropped 40 pounds over the last few years ST (since Tina). Part of my agreement with my wife is that we keep the two gendered selves as separate as possible. One of the reasons for the separation is to identify the parts of me that have always been Tina but just were not understood to be her! We did it slowly so that as the pieces fit together it's been possible to identify and separate the girl from the boy. For example, I walk as a boy when in boy mode, but just let me slip on heels and I can flip in an instant to Tina. As this was evolving I remember wondering if I could just suddently decide to walk like Tina and although it took a moment of thought wearing boy shoes, I was able to flip back and forth.

I really like understanding the differences between my genders and having control over when I switch and when I don't, but it does take thought sometimes to, effectively, act like a Roman when in Rome!

[MssHyde]

I have had some weird things going on with me too, I have always be sexually active with my wife. however I'm finding out the more I feed Cheyenne's desires, The less I need sexual stimulation or fulfillment sexually.

I also noticed my walk Has changed over the years too. I walk toes pointed straight ahead always, my heels hold up better now.

also I have to use brow pencil or brow powder in man mode to have fuller brows. even my dreams have changed,
now I'm often dressed as Cheyenne in my dreams.

makes me wonder if my body or mind is messing with my own DNA.

[Meghan]

Yes! I have been doing an unprecedented amount of core work (abs, butt, obliques, etc) since April and that, plus the circuit training, plus eating better has resulted in almost 35lbs lost, and a 7 to 8 inch reduction in my waistline.

However, if anything, by breasts are larger than they were when I was fat, and they fill out tops to the point that I don't need or want breast inserts.

Figured this out a couple of months ago...but when I started realizing it was happening, it was quite intense.

Congrats, by the way, on what mush have been an amazing experience!

Meghan

[AnneB1nderful]

I have had some weird things going on with me too, I have always be sexually active with my wife. however I'm finding out the more I feed Cheyenne's desires, The less I need sexual stimulation or fulfillment sexually.

I also noticed my walk Has changed over the years too. I walk toes pointed straight ahead always, my heels hold up better now.

also I have to use brow pencil or brow powder in man mode to have fuller brows. even my dreams have changed,
now I'm often dressed as Cheyenne in my dreams.

makes me wonder if my body or mind is messing with my own DNA.

Perhaps these drastic changes are psychosomatic (that is mind/emotions causing physical changes to the body). That's why I posted this thread. To see if anyone else has had something similar happen to them. It appears some have. Well, I'm welcoming the changes. Just didn't expect them to be so drastic so quickly. Just gonna keep riding this boat until it hits a safe harbor or a rock. Hopefully the safe harbor. I'm not dressed for a swim.

[AnneB1nderful]

LOL Anne!

I can relate but not entirely. I have had the similar experiences my whole life about my ummmmmm, rear end LOL! I am the one among my three other brothers that has a butt and often have been told it's shaped like a womans! In my early 20's I remember a brother in-law coming up behind me while I was leaning on a chair and heard him say "OH SH*T! I was about to grab your rear, it looks just like my wifes until I realized it was you!!" LMAO!

I always carried my weight well and look 25 pounds lighter then I really am. In my 20's I was in the 165 at 5'8"+ and fit into most of my ex GF's clothes. She is 5'7'' and was around 125 back then.

I have been dropping weight over the last two months and am down to 185 and noticing what everyone always said about my butt so I took my measurements. This if funny..

My chest: 41"
My current waist 32-33"
Hips: 42"

LMAO!!

Soriya,

That's "fanny" I mean funny. Keep laughing sister so your a$$ will come off.

[AnneB1nderful]

Yes! I have been doing an unprecedented amount of core work (abs, butt, obliques, etc) since April and that, plus the circuit training, plus eating better has resulted in almost 35lbs lost, and a 7 to 8 inch reduction in my waistline.

However, if anything, by breasts are larger than they were when I was fat, and they fill out tops to the point that I don't need or want breast inserts.

Figured this out a couple of months ago...but when I started realizing it was happening, it was quite intense.

Congrats, by the way, on what mush have been an amazing experience!

Meghan

Whooohooo Meghan. Let's celebrate. I just discovered my breasts yesterday. :D ....errrr..... I mean how full they've become. They are probably an A cup by themselves. I can't believe it. I hadn't really paid attention to my chest. Looked in the mirror yesterday and said to myself, "Where'd you girls come from?" Really. Where did they come from? I hadn't taken any supplements or done anything I can think of to stimulate growth. Starting to think a lot of this is psychosomatic. Hey, I'm good with that. But, I need to start exercising again so I can keep this girlish figure.

[AnneB1nderful]

I've dropped 40 pounds over the last few years ST (since Tina). Part of my agreement with my wife is that we keep the two gendered selves as separate as possible. One of the reasons for the separation is to identify the parts of me that have always been Tina but just were not understood to be her! We did it slowly so that as the pieces fit together it's been possible to identify and separate the girl from the boy. For example, I walk as a boy when in boy mode, but just let me slip on heels and I can flip in an instant to Tina. As this was evolving I remember wondering if I could just suddently decide to walk like Tina and although it took a moment of thought wearing boy shoes, I was able to flip back and forth.

I really like understanding the differences between my genders and having control over when I switch and when I don't, but it does take thought sometimes to, effectively, act like a Roman when in Rome!

Hi Tina. Thanks for letting me know how you can switch modes. I've found I can do the same, if I want to. The problem is I really don't want to anymore. My wife left me 17 months ago. So, the only reason I have to be in man mode is work and family. Family lives 200 miles away, except for sister (see http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...m-a-Big-Sister). But, I'm fantasizing more and more about going to work as Anne. I need to calm those thoughts down. Too much at stake. Hopefully will be able to find a gender therapist immediately after the New Year.