Annabelle, there is a difference between what SHOULD be, and things the way they ARE. When people have jobs they cannot afford to get fired from, or young children, elderly parents, and they are not driven to live full time femme, they need to deal with the way things ARE.
If you do not fear being fired from a job, and if your child is an independent adult, and you are driven to live full time, then you have the luxury of thinking of it in terms of what SHOULD be.
There are no rules that fit both situations.
